


Confessions

by mertlekang



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Blow Jobs, Coming Out, Drinking, First Time, M/M, Mentions of homophobia, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Rimming, Size Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-27
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-03 15:45:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 26,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5297018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mertlekang/pseuds/mertlekang
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two nights filled with confessions - some shared in darkness, others in the sluggish embrace of alcohol. Can words slipping from forgetful lips be held to heart, and can heated touches shared deep in the night ever be anything more?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Coming Out

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing for GOT7, so please be gentle! I've never really dedicated a whole fic to smut before so I'm a little nervous posting this, words of encouragement or some constructive criticism wouldn't go amiss~
> 
> There'll be Jr/JB in later chapters.

The dorm was quiet tonight, the promise of a day off on the horizon after so many days spent practicing with no time for sleep causing the members to hit their respective beds like lumps of lead. Mark tapped away at his laptop mindlessly, checking his twitter and his fathers, grimacing at the disrespectful things fans kept sending him. It never failed to piss him off that people thought just because Mark was a public figure they could be so plainly rude or grotesque to his dad - it was truly baffling. He'd pleaded with his dad countless times to close his twitter, feeling the pressure of not knowing when the man would finally lose his patience and reply with something that could potentially affect Marks' career, but his father was stubborn. Thankfully, he was a smart man, careful with his responses, and the fans seemed to like the fact they could get closer to Mark through him - though that in itself was still kind of creepy to him.

Jackson had hit his mattress like a man laying down to die, out for the count in moments. He preferred their new sleeping arrangement to when they'd first debuted. Before they got the bunkbed, when they lay on mats so close to each other, he'd always find himself watching the other boy sleep, the way he curled himself up and clutched at the sheets through the night. For someone so muscular and masculine, he slept like a small child, face scrunched up in dreams, dead to the world. While he complained about the younger boys snoring, he actually found it a comfort, soothing him to his own slumber, something he often struggled to fall into. Mark was no stranger to anxiety, often huffing out frustrated curses into the darkness as his thoughts ran rampant in his mind when all his body wanted was the peace of oblivion. 

Mark envied Jackson for being able to sleep so easily, but he knew the younger boy had thoughts on his mind at other times. He didn't begrudge him the peace sleep brought him. Whilst he appeared carefree and unburdened to others, Mark had been his confidant through the years they'd been paired together as trainees. Many times they would lie in the darkness with weary muscles and heavy hearts, and Jackson would whisper of his parents, of how much he missed them, how he felt he disappointed them with his career path. He never missed the hesitation in his eyes the countless times MC's would ask him to demonstrate his fencing skills, when they'd speak of his achievements. 

He knew Jackson was joking when he'd tell of how Mark was almost mute, how he felt lonely in their room from the lack of conversation, but it would still leave a bitter taste in his mouth. They talked enough, in Marks opinion, for people who saw each other every day; ate together, slept together, worked together. If he was honest with himself, though, he knew he held a lot of himself back from the younger man. Mark only did things he knew he could succeed in, and sometimes a conversation with Jackson could be uncharted territory his anxious mind couldn't trespass into. 

Jackson was loose with his words, taking things lightly where Mark weighted more importance and cautiousness. He'd sacrifice himself to please others while Mark would just wait until he had something worth saying, not willing to embarrass himself or put his foot in his mouth like Jackson did so often. In that respect, Mark envied Jackson again. However, Mark knew Jackson considered his actions and words before he put them into play - he wasn't careless or messy. Everything he did was thought through, coming off as spontaneous. Even then, Mark still appreciated his ability to think on his feet, throwing himself into things with only a breath to plan his actions.

There were lots of things Mark could do if he lived in such a rushed manner, but they were dangerous things. Things he shouldn't spend as much time thinking about as he did.  
Many times he'd watched as Jackson flung his tank top to the side after a long practice, his biceps flexing under golden skin as he wiped the sweat from his forehead. His mouth would go slightly drier, his lips abused by his teeth more than usual. If Jackson caught his lingering gaze, the younger wouldn't even remark, seeming not to catch the glint in Marks' eyes as he'd delve into a random conversation he knew Mark would barely contribute to. Jackson knew - or at least Mark hoped he did - that Mark always listened, while he might not offer much in the way of words. He always listened, because Jackson's voice was like honey, and he wondered if his mouth tasted the same.

And these thoughts were what kept Mark awake at night. They were the reason his words took so long to leave his mouth when they talked quietly at night. Words shared in darkness, heavy with the promise of sleep, were always dangerous.

In LA, he'd been aware of the times he'd glanced at guys with interest beyond general appreciation for a handsome face or a good body. Bisexuality had been something he'd accepted as a label by the time he was fourteen and found himself spending a little too long hovering over the 'Gay' tab on pornhub in the depths of the night. He'd never explored it beyond his own late night experiments - he'd never been the type to pursue someone he liked, and it just turned out no guys had straight up come to him with a confession or an invitation for more.

Coming to Korea, the only real culture shock had been the sheer lack of a queer community. Or at least, on the surface. There were no laws for people belonging to the community, either to protect them or incriminate them - they were treated like they simply didn't exist. It took him a while to grow accustomed to the casual touches, the hands a little too close to his crotch during friendly conversation. People didn't even think of it as strange, as if being gay was so impossible that straight up grabbing a guys dick would be seen as brotherly manhandling. He'd spent hours on the internet trying to find anything about famous faces who'd come out, or just the general attitudes towards people with different tastes. All he was met with was tales of how kids would hang themselves in their bedrooms from the strain, how parents would send their children to therapy to cure them of their mental illnesses. 

Of course there were gay bars, so underground you had to bring a shovel. The queer community existed, definitely, but not clearly enough for Mark to feel safe in who he was. He'd never even discussed it with Bambam or Jackson, the idea making him feel too exposed and naked, as if they'd see the true reason behind his curiosity. They might be international, but regardless of culture or upbringing, people had their own ways of thinking. Bambam would always 'ew' whenever they had to play kissing games or put on a show for the cameras, and Mark always felt his teeth grinding against each other. Jackson never seemed to have an opinion on it, falling into the skinship side of their career with ease and acceptance. He didn't know if that was because he was easygoing and knew he wouldn't be judged for it, or for a deeper reason. He couldn't bring himself to hope for the latter.

The only spark of light he'd found was Jinyoung. After their debut, they'd grown close, seeing something in each other that was different from the rest. Sometimes he'd stay in Jinyoung's room at night, where he didn't have to share the space with the other members, and they'd whisper of their inclinations. He'd held Jinyoung through tears countless times, fruitlessly trying to chase away the negative feelings he had for himself because of his sexuality. They'd spoken of Jaebum, how he'd held Jinyoung at a distance during their JJproject days. Jinyoung said he'd never told Jaebum about his orientation, he just felt like the older boy knew, that he could sense it. Mark's heart ached for the younger boy, how he said Jaebum's name tenderly, sometimes with a sigh. Unrequited love was a bitch, especially when you were queer. 

Mark closed his laptop with a sigh, setting it to side of his pillow as he tugged his blankets over his head. He doubted the other members would treat them in a negative light if they knew about him and Jinyoung, but things would still be different. GOT7 came first. While he wasn't the leader, he was still the hyung, and he'd never let his own issues affect the group. Jinyoung had been much of the same mind, but the weight of his feelings weighed heavier on the younger, Mark could tell. Jinyoung was inclined to dark thoughts, often thinking bad about himself, be it his abilities as an actor, a singer or as a person in general. It made Mark hurt to know someone so brilliant could see themselves as anything but.

As he lay with his brittle bleached hair scratching the sheets - he liked it, and it suited him, but it felt like shit from all the peroxide - he counted his breaths, willing his mind to calm the same way he did every night before he could drop off to sleep. He couldn't hear Jackson snoring tonight, in fact he could barely hear him breathing. It only took a moment for him to realise why.

'Mark,' the younger man whispered, the sound leaving his lips like a gust of air he'd been holding in. 'You awake?'

'Yeah, what's up?' He mumbled into the sheets, slightly frustrated that his routine had been interrupted, but if Jackson needed to talk Mark would never refuse.

'Can I ask you a weird question?' Jackson's voice sounded quiet and nervous for a change, and Mark wondered how long he'd been waiting to talk.

'When don't you ask weird questions?' Mark drawled. He knew Jackson would take it as the   
'yes' he intended it to be.

Jackson took a moment to continue, and Mark almost thought he could hear the younger boy thinking.

'You and Jinyoung,' he blurted eventually, and Mark felt himself tense subconsciously. 'You two seem close.'

'Yeah, we're friends, why?' Mark inwardly cringed at how his words sounded, defensive and almost snappy. He felt an attack where there probably was none, but Jackson seemed to be teetering on dangerous waters.

'I'm not judging you, Mark.' Jackson added hastily, honesty plain in his voice, but Mark was still affronted by the suddenness of the conversation, the spotlight coming close to a hidden corner of himself he wasn't ready to reveal yet. 

'Say what you mean, Jackson.' He sighed impatiently. He'd rather a quick death than a drawn out slaughter, and he was antsy with Jackson's unusual hesitation.

'I'm just saying, you're together a lot. You even sleep in his room sometimes.' Jackson's voice rose an octave, words spilling out in awkward discomfort. 'Like I'm really not judging you I just want you to know I'm cool with it. Whatever it is. I've just been noticing how we talk less lately, but when I think about it you close yourself off from me a lot. You know I'm not like that, right? I'm not homophobic or anything, I'm totally cool with that stuff, like super cool. The coolest.'

'Wait, wait, wait,' Mark cut through Jackson's monologue, feeling slight relief tingle in his chest at the younger boys words, but also confusion at the direction of his accusations. 'What exactly are you saying about me and Jinyoung?'

'You're together right? Or friends with benefits or whatever. It's fine with me, I won't tell anyone or anything. Hyung?'

Mark felt his chest erupt in laughter suddenly, clapping a hand over his mouth to contain the sound for the sake of the others sleeping. It took him a moment to regain himself, hearing Jackson asking 'what? what?' over and over again as more incredulous laughter threatened to tickle his lips. 

'Jinyoung and I aren't together, you idiot. We're just friends. And anyway, he likes-' He stopped himself short, gritting his teeth against the name about to roll off his treacherous tongue.

'He likes who? What were you going to say?' Jackson's voice was full of anticipation at the obvious secret Mark nearly told, repeating himself again much to Mark's irritation. 'Tell me, tell me, tell me-'

'No one! Geez, it's private.' Mark huffed, frustrated that he'd nearly carelessly revealed something so important.

'Is it me?' Jackson asked with awe, as if he truly believed it. Mark stifled a snicker.

'In your dreams.'

'Youngjae? Bambam? God, is it Yugyeom? If it's Yugyeom I'll kick Jinyoung's ass, that's completely illegal.'

'Christ, no, stop guessing.'

Jackson paused, and Mark thought he'd actually listened to him for once, but then his mouth opened once again. 'It's Jaebum, isn't it?' Mark froze, and Jackson let out a soft gasp. 'Ah, I knew it - it was so obvious, how didn't I notice before?'

Before he knew what he was doing, he was already climbing down from his bunk, crouching down to where Jackson lay and clambering onto his mattress, a finger pointed sternly at his grinning face. 

'You tell no one about this.' He punctuated every word with a jab of his finger into Jackson's sturdy chest, the younger boy yelping pathetically at the attack.

'Ok, ok, ok, stop!' Jackson held his hands up in surrender, and Mark sat back against the wall, crossing his legs as Jackson rubbed at his chest dramatically. 

'It wasn't my secret to tell,' Mark shook his head in regret, 'Jinyoung would kill me if he knew you knew.'

'Technically you didn't tell me anything, I guessed.'

'I helped you guess. And we're roommates, if you knew then he'd think it was me who told you anyway.'

'What's so wrong about him liking Jaebum?' Jackson turned on his side towards Mark, propped up on elbow. The duvet fell from where he'd pulled it up to his neck, revealing his shirtless form.   
Mark turned his eyes to the mattress above him, counting the rungs holding it up to keep the blood up in his brain where it belonged.

'Jinyoung thinks Jaebum knows that he's gay. They were awkward when they debuted together, Jinyoung thinks it's because of him.'

'Jaebum doesn't seem like the kind of guy to just hate someone because of that. I don't think any of us would, but maybe I'm naive.'

'You're pretty naive.' Mark smirked, feeling Jackson slap his thigh in mock offense. He left it there, and Mark let out a shaky breath.

'Since we're telling secrets, can I tell you one of mine?' Jackson asked softly, and Mark let his eyes meet those darker ones, seeing fear in the younger boy. He wasn't joking.

'Of course.'

'I really mean it, this is a secret. I've never told anyone this, it's big shit. You're hearing it here first. Exclusive news from Jackson Wang.'

'Shut up and tell me or I'm going back to sleep.' Mark groaned, feeling the weight of the past month on his heavy eyelids.

'Ok, Ok, I just need to hype myself up.' Jackson sat up properly, shifting a little closer to Mark, and Mark felt his heart speed up slightly with anticipation. Jackson took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before he fixed his gaze on Mark, trust in his eyes and tension in his shoulders. 'I-I think I'm bisexual.'

They were both still for a moment, and Mark fought the urge to laugh at the ridiculous situation. Laughing in Jackson's face would be a very, very bad idea right now - he certainly wouldn't appreciate it if their roles were reversed. Jackson looked like he was ready to jump out of the window at the slightest provocation.

'You think you're bisexual?' Mark asked delicately.

'No, no. I am... I'm bisexual. Pretty sure. A firm 99%. Does that make you uncomfortable? Is this weird?'

Mark shook his head to calm him before he went off on a tangent. Jackson just kept giving him reasons to be envious. He was terrified, sure, but the boy still had the guts to offer up a confession at the drop of a hat. 

'Chill, Jackson. I'm bisexual too.' The words felt wrong leaving his lips, like he'd exposed a part of himself that nobody was supposed to see, but the look of sheer relief on Jackson's face and the smile that spread over his lips calmed him immensely. He;d happily expose this side of himself to make Jackson feel secure.

'Thank God.' He breathed, looking away sheepishly, a laugh bubbling from his chest. Mark joined in the mirth, sharing in the feeling of a weight being lifted.

A question burned on his tongue, and he couldn't catch it before it jumped into the air between them. 'Have you ever been with a guy?' 

He immediately grit his teeth at the sound of his own words, heart thumping forebodingly in his chest, fingers and toes curling at the awkwardness. 

But of course, Jackson just shrugged as if it was nothing. 'When I said I knew a little French, it's mostly dirty words from when I travelled for competitions. Some guys liked to practice fencing in a more practical way.' Jackson grinned deviously, waggling his eyebrows. 'Let's just say that French kid was very impressed with my rapier.'

'God TMI.' Mark groaned, rolling his eyes, unable to suppress the smile on his lips. 

'What about you?' Jackson asked, his gaze growing keener, more penetrating, and Mark felt his skin grow hotter, looking anywhere but at Jackson's face.

'Nope.'

'Why?'

'Never got around to it, I guess. I don't do things with people unless I'm really into them, and I was never really into anyone. Just how shit happens.' He shrugged, hoping Jackson would leave it at that, but it seemed he wanted to scrape everything he could from the conversation.

'Do your parents know?'

'I never said anything, I doubt they'd be bothered if I was, though. You?'

'You're the first person I've told. I doubt they'd disown me or anything but I know my mom wants grandkids - I'm enough of a disappointment as it is.'

'You're not a disappointment you asshat.' Mark grumbled, slapping Jackson's arm halfheartedly. Jackson smiled softly at Mark's words, looking at him consideringly for a second too long. 'Besides, you might fall in love with some chick eventually, who knows.'

'Right at this moment, I can't see that happening.' Jackson said softly, and Mark frowned.

'Why's that? Don't give me that shit about being ugly again.'

'Nah, nothing like that. I just... well, there's someone I like a lot right now. As far as I know they're definitely male.'

Marks heart sank, a heavy breath leaving his lips. Well, whoever this guy was, he didn't know how lucky he was.

'Does he know you're into him?' Mark asked hesitantly. Crushes really fucking sucked. He felt like someone just punched him in the chest. Jealousy crept up like a bitch.

'I don't know, do you?' Jackson cocked his head to the side with a smirk.

'What?'

'You asked if he knew if I was into him. So I'm asking you -' Jackson licked his lips, raising his eyebrows as he shifted closer - dangerously close. Mark swallowed. '-Do you know that I'm into you?'

Mark felt himself go completely tense, his mouth dry as a desert. 'Don't fuck with me,' He whispered, feeling Jackson's breath ghosting against his lips, his dark eyes fixed on his own. 'If you're fucking with me I swear I'll kill you and get Jinyoung to dispose of the body.'

Jackson laughed softly, and Mark's heart jumped in his chest. 'I'm definitely not fucking with you.' He paused, smirked, his eyes flicking down to look at Mark's lips before looking up at him darkly 'But I can definitely fuck you, if you want.'

Whoever decided it was a good idea to place Jackson Wang in his life was a sick sadist, truly. Just the sound of his voice, deep and quiet in the silence of the room made the blood run south, and Mark was suddenly determined to make Jackson say fuck a lot more often. 

Jackson didn't take the initiative, his eyes instead asking for permission before he made a move, and Mark decided to place the ball in his own court. He hesitated slightly before bringing his lips closer, noses brushing before he drew a soft breath and let his eyelids flutter shut, lips pressing against Jackson's full, warm ones. It was a chaste kiss, but when he pulled away Mark could feel his dick filling out at the feeling of kissing another man. It was definitely different to the kisses he'd shared with girls - Jackson didn't back away or sink into him, instead meeting his lips with the same amount of want and intent to dominate. Mark kind of wanted to know who'd win the battle. 

Jackson was looking between his eyes and lips, his own lips slightly parted as soft breaths escaped, his eyes blown with lust already. It took him only a moment to close the distance again, this time with more confidence, pressing Mark into the wall with just his lips. Mark felt his hands snaking up along Jackson's toned arms without a thought, gasping at the strength sitting beneath the skin he'd been aching to touch for years. Jackson took the opportunity to run his tongue over Mark's parted lips, tentatively licking further inside and finding Mark meeting the intrusion eagerly. 

It wasn't perfect, Mark had never kissed a guy before, and even if he had, kissing someone for the first time was always awkward. Their teeth clicked against each other and eventually both their chins were wet with spit, giggles escaping every now and then at the weirdness of it all. Mark didn't care, though, he'd waited long enough to get a taste of Jackson, and he was going to take his fill.

Jackson's lips moved to chase the line of his jaw, moving to suck reverently at Mark's pale neck as the older boy gasped softly at the sensation. 'Don't give me a hickey, dumbass, the coordi's will kick my ass.' He mumbled, feeling Jackson press a kiss to the spot he'd just assaulted.

'Too late.' He sat back with a lazy smirk, and Mark raised an eyebrow challengingly. He pushed Jackson back against the sheets easily, straddling his waist and feeling a surge of cockiness at his new position. He took the chance to run his hands over the expanse of Jackson's naked chest, feeling his stomach dip beneath his caress and a soft breath leave the boys lips. He leant down to capture him in another drawn out kiss, tugging at his thick lower lip with his teeth before exploring his hot mouth with his tongue. Jackson didn't taste like honey, he tasted like toothpaste, but his mouth itself was intoxicating enough. Jackson certainly knew how to kiss. 

He felt Jackson's hands slide up Mark's yjama-clad thighs, resting on his hips as Mark's hands moved lower. He adjusted his position so he could roll his hips down against Jackson's, feeling the hardness in his boxers against his own. Thank God Jackson slept in his underwear. The contact was enough to draw a guttural groan from the both of them, Mark finding a rhythm, savouring the drag of their cocks through the fabric. The kiss grew lazy and sloppy, broken by gasps and soft moans against each others lips, until Jackson's hands moved to squeeze Mark's ass hard and he threw his head back at the sensation of those strong hands kneading the soft flesh, pulling him down to grind more roughly against him. 

Jackson slipped a knee between Mark's spread thighs, easily flipping them over so the older was on his back before he kissed him deeply, fingers slipping beneath his shirt and running teasingly over his hipbones, tracing every rib. Mark bit back a moan as deft fingers rubbed against his nipples - somewhere he'd never been touched before, and Jackson attached himself to Mark's neck again, sucking and biting at his pulse point maddeningly. Mark found his fingers in Jackson's hair, tugging on the blonde strands gently before Jackson sat back, pulling Marks shirt over his head before he bent back down to latch onto a nipple, all teeth and tongue, and Marks back arched at the strange sensation.

Settling between Mark's legs, Jackson ran a hand down his pale chest, caressing the V of his hips as his tongue teased his sensitive nipples in turn. He felt a hand slip down the back of his sweatpants, squeezing a bare ass cheek roughly, and Mark pushed back into the contact. Jackson's lips moved lower, kissing his way down Mark's body before he stopped at his waistband, looking up for permission. Mark could only nod as he looked down at him, his mouth dry with anticipation. 

Without hesitation Jackson dragged the sweatpants off Mark's long legs, and Mark didn't even have a moment to feel sheepish at the exposure before a strong hand was wrapped confidently around his aching length, Jackson's breath blowing over the wet tip.

'Fuck,' Mark breathed, his head falling back into the pillows. If he looked down at Jackson now, he'd probably come that second. It had been a long time since he'd had someone get him off, and he'd never been as into it as this. In fact, he'd never been into anyone like he was into Jackson.

His legs fell open as Jackson ran his tongue up the underside of Mark's cock slowly, teasingly, and Mark bucked up at the sensation, frustrated at the slow pace Jackson was moving at. 

'God, don't tease I haven't been laid in forever you asshole.' He hissed, sitting up slightly to see the grin spreading over Jackson's lips. Lips that were far too close to his cock to be legal. Jackson chose that moment to take him into his mouth in one go, the hot wet heat engulfing him so suddenly Mark thought he blacked out for a moment. Jackson pulled off with a soft pop, and Mark watched him with heavily lidded eyes as he chuckled tauntingly up at him.

'You know I'm gonna tease if you keep reacting like that.' Jackson's grip tightened around the base of his cock, and Mark let out a startled breath, his mouth opening in a silent moan as Jackson took him into his mouth again, sucking with intent this time. He watched the blonde head bob on his crotch, obscene noises coming from Jackson's lips as his saliva slicked up Mark's length before he pulled off slowly, dark eyes looking up at him through his bangs.   
Mark thought he might be in a bit too deep.

Jackson's hand moved against Mark's length leisurely as his mouth moved lower to suck his balls softly, making Mark cry out embarrassingly. Jackson didn't pause to tease him about it, and Mark didn't even have time to be thankful for it before a noise he didn't even think a human could make left his lips at the feel of Jackson's tongue tracing his hole, hot and wet against the ring of muscle. His hands reached out to hold Jackson's head back, his hips shifting away from the sensation, but Jackson hooked his forearms around Mark's bent legs stubbornly, holding him in place tightly. 

'That's so dirty,' Mark grumbled, his forearm slung over his face to hide the flush on his cheeks. It felt obscene, Jackson's tongue tracing his hole wetly before darting inside, caressing his inner walls slowly and indulgently. His ass was lifted slightly for the angle, Jackson's strong arms locked around his spread thighs, and Jackson pressed a noisy open-mouthed kiss between his cheeks as he pulled away with a cocky grin on his lips. Jackson was a cheeky shit during sex, too. Mark wasn't really surprised.

'If I like doing it, what's the problem? You don't have to get so embarrassed...'

'I'm not embarrassed.' Mark protested weakly, frustrated at Jackson's ease and confidence. He was still hiding his face.

'Tell that to your face.' Jackson crooned, and Mark batted at him weakly, startled when Jackson caught his arm, pinning it above his head as he leaned in for a hard, passionate kiss. Mark fought against his lips, pulling away from him with an expression like he'd sucked a lemon.

'You just ate my ass, get your mouth away from me.' Mark spluttered indignantly, tossing his head side to side to fight off Jackson's repeated attempts at a lip lock. 

'Don't be a little bitch, Mark.' Jackson groaned, catching Mark's jaw in his hand roughly before pressing their lips together firmly, fighting his way into marks tightly closed mouth with his tongue. Mark wouldn't give in so easily, though, the two of them snickering through their noses at each others stubbornness. Jackson's hand left it's perch atop Mark's arm, disappearing from thought before Mark felt a finger trace his entrance suddenly, and he jerked at the sensation, mouth dropping open. Jackson didn't hesitate to thrust his tongue inside, and Mark could feel the stretch of his grin against his lips as he kissed him deeply, filthily.

Jackson traced his hole twice, three times, before he pressed the pad of his index finger in softly, teasingly. Mark moaned against his mouth, feeling himself tighten around the intrusion. Jackson's finger was dry, and for a moment he was worried Jackson would just go balls to the wall and forgo lube, but the younger boy relented his attack on Mark's mouth, pulling away entirely to lean over the side of the bed. Mark watched the dip of his back as he rummaged beneath the bed, taking a chance to catch his breath as he shimmied his sweatpants off completely, tossing them to the side. When Jackson sat back up with a half-empty pump-action bottle of industry sized lube in his hand, Mark let out a scandalised gasp.

'Do you jack off in here?' He asked with wide eyes, a smirk tugging at his lips as he looked up at Jackson. The younger boy just shrugged dramatically, raising his eyebrows indifferently.

'I like the threat of getting caught, like one of those pornos where you'll sneak down to my bunk and ask if I need a hand,' he pursed his lips, waggling his brows, 'or a mouth.'

Mark slapped his thigh, taking an unusual amount of pleasure at the loud cracking noise it made in the silence of the room. Jackson's yelp of pain didn't go unsavoured either. He'd always appreciated Jackson's thighs, the strength the younger man had in his hips and lower body was something that appeared in his dirty thoughts pretty often. He squeezed the firm flesh, catching Jackson's attention as he raised an eyebrow.

'Are you gonna get down to business or is this Jackson's comedy hour?'

'I don't know, is my sparkling wit turning you on? Maybe I should start selling tickets.'  
Mark didn't think his eyes could roll any further back, but Jackson put him out of his misery soon enough, shifting between Mark's now naked thighs with a chuckle. He ran his hands along the pale skin, stopping where his legs met the rest of his body with a dark look in his eyes. His gaze flicked up and down Mark's body, taking in his expression as he licked his lips slowly. 'You're fucking gorgeous, you know that right?' 

Jackson's voice was deeper, more sultry when he uttered the words, and Mark felt his cock twitch, biting his lip in anticipation. He watched with dark eyes as Jackson slicked three fingers with lube, squirting a drop onto the palm of his other hand as well before wrapping it around Mark's length and giving it a firm tug. Mark's hips jumped at the much needed contact, the wet pull of Jackson's strong hand, and he sucked in a breath when he felt a cool wetness at his entrance. 

'You ever fingered yourself before?' Jackson breathed huskily, his eyes intent on Mark's face as his fingers traced his rim slowly, and Mark swallowed thickly. He was definitely no stranger to the pleasure a few fingers could bring; there were multiple times he'd spread himself in the shower, gasping against the tiles at the push and pull, imagining it was Jackson's strong hands holding his cheeks open, his thick thighs pressed up against the backs of his own.

'A few times.' Mark met Jackson's gaze heatedly, not missing the soft exhalation of breath from the younger man at the revelation. He was pretty sure he'd just confirmed one of Jackson's fantasies.

'So you're okay with being bottom? I don't mind if you want to switch or something.' Jackson asked earnestly, but Mark could tell he really wanted to top tonight. The fact he'd already lubed up his fingers and was gently pushing one in even as he spoke was a pretty firm indicator. Mark didn't mind the idea of bottoming - in his fantasies it always seemed to be him pressed up against things or on his knees getting it good from behind. Switching it up wasn't completely off his radar either, he was just the kind of guy to go with the flow of things. Taking it up the ass wasn't all roses in his mind, though, he'd read enough about it to have a moderate amount of trepidation.

'Just go slow at first, I don't want to spend our day off in a wheelchair.' 

A smirk spread over Jackson's face, always pleased to find opportunities to wind Mark up. 

'Hm, I didn't think my dick was that big, but thanks for the compliment.'

'Forget the compliment it's a fact, you're like almost double the size of mine.' Mark refuted, not even slightly abashed to say exactly what he thought in regards to Jackson's endowment. The younger still had his boxers on, but his erection was evident, and Mark had caught him flaccid multiple times and still found himself impressed. From the tent in Jackson's underwear, he was a grower and a shower. Mark wasn't exactly small, either - just average. Next time the members commented on how Jackson's behaviour was an act to compensate for something, Mark would have to offer other ideas, because it definitely wasn't about dick size.

'Well, just 'cos I'm bigger than you it doesn't exactly mean I'm big-'

'Do you want to get laid tonight or do you wanna die?' Mark groaned, throwing his head back impatiently. Jackson had been stroking his length lazily through the exchange, but beyond that Mark was getting more and more frustrated. 

'How bout getting laid so hard I die.' Jackson retorted, but his teasing stopped there, his finger slipping inside Mark in a fluid motion, bottoming out at the knuckle as Mark hummed at the feeling of being filled. Fingering yourself was completely different from having somebody else feeling around inside you, and Mark felt himself twitching against the intrusion slightly. Jackson paused for a moment, and Mark met his eyes, nodding for him to continue. 

The younger man fucked his finger in and out a few times testingly before he dipped his head down to take Mark into his mouth again, slipping a second finger inside in the same second and causing Mark to groan at the mix of pleasure and the twinge of pain. Mark was really starting to develop a thing for Jackson's mouth. The younger boy licked at the head, pulling Mark's foreskin down to suck at the sensitive flesh underneath, and Mark's lips were sore from biting. 

Mark's hips started to cant up into the wet heat around him, thrusting up and pushing down against Jackson's fingers. Jackson didn't hold him steady, simply bobbing his head with the motion of Mark's hips, sucking him greedily as his dark eyes watched every expression on the older boys face. 

While the initial two fingers had been a pleasant stretch, the third was a noticeable burn, and Mark grit his teeth at the sensation, trying to focus on the feeling of Jackson's lips wrapped around his cock. He could feel when his dick brushed the back of Jackson's throat, the younger making a soft choked sound but not stopping in his rhythm. Mark's balls tightened at the sight, and he took a calming breath, willing back his climax. He found himself wondering what guy was lucky enough to have taught Jackson these things, because this wasn't the mouth of an amateur. A girl had never sucked him off this well before, but he wondered if that was just the effect of having a guy down there instead - if you were working with the same tools, surely you'd know how they worked.

Jackson must have felt when he began to relax around his fingers, as he started to wiggle them, stretching them out wider before he pushed them deeper, searching around before crooking them gently. Mark must've jumped up the bed at least a few centimeters, his head hitting the metal headrest as a truly humiliating sound left his lips. He felt like he'd been electrocuted in the most pleasurable way imaginable, a line of precome dripping onto his abdomen as he took a few shuddering breaths.

Jackson looked like he'd just unwrapped the best Christmas present, his eyes wide and an awestruck smile on his lips. 'Shit, I've never found it before. Want me to do it again?' Jackson's fingers had left him when he'd jumped away, and he could feel his hole clenching compulsively around the sudden emptiness.

'No, I'm too close.' Mark breathed, head lolling to the side. He was throbbing with the need to release, the effect of not getting a chance to jack off in weeks. He really didn't like the idea of Jackson trying to slide into him after Mark had already come - apparently it hurt enough when you were still aroused. 'Just put it in.'

'Wow, that's some really stirring dirty talk Mark.' Jackson grumbled, pulling off his boxers and dragging Mark's hips closer. He manouvered them so Marks lower back was resting on his knees, his ass flush against Jackson's groin and his thighs hugging Jackson's hips. Mark leaned up on his elbows, taking in the sight of Jackson spreading lube over his cock, his mouth running dry. Another time, he'd definitely try fitting that in his mouth.

It would probably be easier than fitting it in his ass.

Jackson wiped his dirty hand on the sheets before smoothing it down the planes of Mark's flat abdomen, giving his cock a few firm tugs. It was starting to flag from his nervousness, and the touch calmed his anxiety slightly. 'Relax,' Jackson whispered, voice rough. It was truly impressive he'd held on this long, Mark thought. He hadn't noticed how aroused Jackson was until now, his cock wet as it pressed against Mark's entrance, the look of pure restrained want and concentration on Jackson's face. It was thrilling to have such focus trained on him.

He let out a calming breath as Jackson locked eyes with him, but felt himself quickly go rigid again as Jackson's eyes fluttered shut, the tip of his cock stretching Mark even further than his fingers had only moments ago. 'Damn you're tight,' Jackson grunted, his jaw set as he tried to restrain himself from fucking hard into the tight heat. His hand moved to wrap around Mark's length again, and he leaned forward to lock lips with the older boy, careful not to press any further inside at the change of position. Mark was glad for the distraction, turning all his attention to the warm hand around his cock and the hot, wet tongue dancing with his own. Jackson's breathing was heavy, gutteral moans slipping from his lips with every inch he gained inside Mark. The sound was intoxicating, and Mark drank it in headily, willing himself to relax around Jackson's straining length. Jackson wasn't lacking in girth, that was for sure.

He barely noticed when Jackson bottomed out, but the shaky sigh of relief he let out against Mark's neck was a good indication, his arms trembling where he held himself over Mark. 'Are you okay?' The younger boy managed to mumble into his skin, distracted kisses fluttering against his collarbone. 

His thighs were trembling against Jackson's hips, and he could feel his ass twitching around Jackson, burning with the stretch. 'Just give me a second,' he whispered, his voice shaky with exertion. Jackson's lips found his again, and he kissed him deeply, his arms coming up to wrap around his broad shoulders, his hands raking through his sweat-damp hair. Jackson kissed him like a man drowning and Mark was his oxygen - it was addictive. He pulled away to gasp for breath, panting against Jackson's swollen lips. 'Okay-'

Jackson didn't wait for him to finish, pulling out and slamming back in with vigor, and Mark found his blunt nails dragging red lines into Jackson's back, his head thrown back in shock at the sensation of being fucked. Jackson wasn't rough with him, but he wasn't gentle either, every thrust full of passion and intent. Mark's mouth was open wide in awe at the sweet drag of Jackson's cock against his walls, the sound of his rough gasps and moans. It was addictive, having those dark eyes so focused on him, so full of want.

Jackson pulled his hips closer, rolling his hips deeply with a sigh, and Mark felt his eyes roll back in his head, a spark of pleasure running up his spine as he clenched around Jackson. When Jackson hit him there again, moans left his lips unbidden, unrestrained, his hands clawing at the sheets as he rocked his own hips to meet Jackson's thrusts with pure ecstasy etched over his features. His hair clung to his damp forehead, the wet sound of skin hitting skin filling his ears along with Jackson's groans and the dirty sounds he couldn't believe were leaving his own lips. 

He gasped when Jackson pulled his legs over his shoulders, his cock driving even deeper as he leaned down to catch Mark in a messy kiss. They gasped against each others lips, unintelligible words leaving Mark's mouth, along with Jackson's name in jumbled pieces. Mark was folded almost in half, his cock trapped against Jackson's abdomen, slick with precome. Jackson's voice was rough and deep as he whispered into his ear through ragged breaths. 'Is it good, Mark?' 

'Yeah.' Mark breathed, his own voice sounding broken and strained, his tongue heavy in his mouth. His fantasies about Jackson's hips weren't far off as they rolled fluidly down against him, fucking him into the mattress as his thighs flexed with every motion. 'So good,' he heard himself mumble, 'gonna come.'

Pulling Mark's body even further down the bed, deep into his lap, Jackson fucked him with even more fervor, his balls slapping against Mark's ass obscenely. 'Come on Mark, come for me.' He breathed, teeth dragging against Mark's jaw as his cock pushed hard against his prostate, Mark's back arching off the bed as he came hard between them. He felt himself clenching desperately around Jackson, the sensation making him moan shamefully as the younger man fucked him hard through his climax, Mark's cock pulsing against his chest as he was milked for everything he was worth. He watched breathlessly as Jackson's face scrunched in pleasure, as he sat back on his knees, abs flexing as his hips shuddered against Mark, his cock jumping as he came inside. Mark could feel every pulse of Jackson's orgasm, his oversensitive cock twitching against his own chest. Jackson fell with a groan, careful not to crush Mark as he pressed his sweaty chest against him, mouthing at Mark's neck through the aftershocks. 

Mark felt fucked out and sated, his legs weakly bracketing Jackson's ass as they curled around each other, not caring about the mess on Mark's abdomen. Jackson kissed him slowly, deeply, just the push and pull of lips against lips. All Mark wanted to do was curl up and sleep forever with Jackson's arms wrapped around him, but the come on his stomach was getting increasingly uncomfortable, not to mention Jackson's sliding slowly down his thighs.

'We need to shower,' Mark mumbled lethargically against Jackson's insistent, greedy lips. The younger man just groaned, rolling off to the side of the bed grumpily before he returned with a shirt in his hand, quickly cleaning the two of them off. Mark bit his lip as the fabric brushed against his abused hole, and Jackson uttered a soft apology, smoothing a hand up his thigh before he lay back down, throwing the shirt into the depths of their bedroom and pulling Mark against his chest again. 'Who's shirt was that?' Mark asked miserably, his eyelids drooping against his will.

'Dunno.' Jackson replied gruffly, his arm tight around Mark's shoulders.

'I'm pretty sure that was my shirt.' Mark grumbled - he'd just done his laundry and however tired he was it was still enough to make him whine.

Jackson only sucked in a deep, content breath, a chesty hum vibrating against Mark's ear as he pulled the covers up over them.

'Don't be a little bitch, Mark.'

If the sound of them banging hadn't woken the dorm up, the sound of Mark's hand coming down against Jackson's chest did.


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an: JB/JR in the next two chapters, thanks everyone for kudos and comments!

an: JB/JR in the next two chapters, thanks everyone for subscribing and commenting!

 

\- two -

 

Jackson awoke to a head of blonde hair in his face and an elbow in his ribs, and looked down at the head resting against his chest. Mark's lips were parted, soft breaths ghosting over Jackson's skin. The duvet was long lost and his feet were cold, but there was sweat between their bodies from where they were plastered together, legs entwined messily. Mark was like a furnace, pale hands hot where they were tucked between their chests, and Jackson smoothed a hand down the older boys back, fingers tracing the notches of his spine. 

He thought of how Mark was when they were still trainees, how he'd been stick thin even back then, but his skin was of a rich gold, lip always caught between his teeth as he tried to understand the foreign language being chattered to him. Mark's eyes had lit up when he'd learned Jackson was fluent in English, the two of them sharing jokes nobody else could understand. Jackson had always felt like they were sharing a secret, the two of them, but up until now he'd made the same assumption he'd made with others - that Mark just put up with him because the younger wouldn't leave him alone. 

Jackson had a habit of thinking there was a friendship when really all the other person felt was acquaintance. He'd been hurt many times by his openness with people, yet he'd still never learned to reign himself back or put people at a distance. Mark was his opposite, always watching and waiting - it had taken months for the older boy to share in the secrets that Jackson would spill in the darkness of their trainee dorm, and even longer for him to become comfortable with his hugs and outward displays of friendly affection. 

It had made him bitter, honestly, when they'd joined with the others to become GOT7, how quickly mark began to accept skinship, how he'd peck Jinyoung's cheek so freely even when the cameras weren't rolling. Jackson had taken a while to realise that he had a crush on the older boy - he always latched onto people, so wrapping himself so tightly around Mark from the start hadn't been too out of the ordinary for him. They both spoke English and were strangers in this place, both struggling with the same problems, both alone. It wasn't unusual that they'd grow close.

He'd noticed marks pretty face from the start, lured in by his owlish eyes and bitten lips, the way the pitch of his laugh rivaled Jackson's own tittering howl, but there were plenty of handsome faces around him, and the only thing that set Mark above them was that he paid attention to Jackson. While Mark's face was pleasant to look at, the gravity of his personality was what made Jackson glance a moment longer. When the older boy looked at you, it was as if a spotlight had turned towards you, like every word you said was being taken into consideration.

For Jackson, it was refreshing. As the younger talked to anyone and everyone so openly, many people would switch off to whatever he was saying and he often found himself hurt when something he'd said in earnest had been completely ignored or forgotten. Mark always listened, even if he didn't have much to say in reply. Jackson found Mark's silence comforting, in a way - when they were alone, he wasn't expected to speak. He could switch off completely without the pressure of living up to his 'vitamin' character. He loved how Mark showed his affection in quiet ways, looking after the members from the shadows. While others would talk over Mark sometimes, Jackson was always drawn in, thirsty for whatever might be leaving those usually silent lips. 

It was natural that he'd start to cling to Mark a little, having grown so close to him, but lately the older boy's closeness to Jinyoung had left a twinge in his chest. The fact that Mark sometimes stayed in Jinyoung's room didn't escape Jackson's attention, and he'd lie in bed wondering what they were doing, what they were talking about. He didn't know what madness had fallen over him last night, but for some reason his thoughts had reached their peak, his tongue loose in the calm darkness of their room, and the words had tumbled out. As soon as he'd asked, he'd regretted it, immediately thinking of ways to backpedal. If mark had told him there was something between him and Jinyoung, it would have crushed Jackson. He'd still love Mark as a friend, but things wouldn't be the same in his heart.

He didn't want things to change between them unless it was to have more instead of less. When Mark had denied the accusation, Jackson had felt relief, but also fear - he'd immediately assumed Mark was straight, that he'd falsely believed him to be interested in guys, which totally ruled out any hope of him having feelings for Jackson; but if Mark was comfortable with Jinyoung being gay, Jackson was comfortable with Mark knowing he was bisexual. Hearing the confession returned flipped the tables completely, and though he was nervous, his impulses had a way of winning over his hesitations.

He dragged his fingers through marks hair soothingly, remembering the dark look in the older boys eyes after he'd kissed him the first time, how his lips were firm and sure. Just from that one touch he knew Mark was under no impression that they weren't equals, and it emboldened Jackson. The first (and last) time Jackson had been with a guy he'd been completely submissive, which was fine, but even when Jackson was with girls he liked the back and forth, he liked to tease and be teased back, to feel like both parties were involved rather than one being in complete control. Although, if Mark wanted to do some sub/dom shit, Jackson wouldn't say no. At that thought, Mark took in a deep breath, nuzzling closer to Jackson's chest with a groan.

'Mm' he mumbled, rolling away from the younger boy and covering his face, hiding from the light coming in through the blinds. Jackson felt the cool air hit the newly exposed skin and missed Marks heat. 'You're too hot.'

'I know, it's a curse,' Jackson sighed wistfully, grinning as the older boy let out a huff. Mark was silent again as he curled against the wall, his bare back exposed to Jackson's roaming eyes. He had a great ass, small but toned... slappable. His body often acted before he told it to, and he cracked his hand down against Mark's bare ass, bracing himself immediately as the older boy yelled, his fist swinging round wildly to thwack at his bicep. 

'You're an asshole.' Mark grumbled. He was always grumpy in the mornings, but it was adorable, and Jackson liked the fact his teasing would actually get a response when Mark was in this mood. The slimmer man climbed out from Jackson's bed, grabbing a towel and slipping it around his waist - though not before Jackson caught a good eyeful of the red flush blooming on one of his pale ass cheeks. For a moment Jackson thought he'd actually pissed the older boy off, and he sat up ready to apologise. Mark turned to the door as he rubbed his face groggily. 'M'gonna take a shower.'

Jackson watched as the door closed behind him, letting out a breath and resting his head back against the wall. Mark didn't seem to be acting any differently to how he usually would, and Jackson felt relieved. While he didn't want things to change between them,  he knew they would, even if it was only slightly. He wanted to be able to touch Mark the way he'd been longing to for years now, to freely kiss him and hold him as he slept or simply hold his hand with feelings known between them. He knew Mark was probably stood into the shower running through all the ways he'd have to tell Jackson what they should do if things were to go wrong, how they'd need to consider the group, how they couldn't act any differently from now on. That was probably the only thing that annoyed Jackson about Mark - the man was so quiet yet Jackson knew a million thoughts were flying through his mind at all times, and he was constantly left wondering which thought the older would decide to share with him, if he chose to share any at all.

Jackson rolled out of his bunk, stretching out with a groan and sighing at the soreness in his thighs. He pulled on some basketball shorts, humming lightly. He wondered if anyone had heard them last night - Mark hadn't exactly been vocal but their bed was definitely groaning from their exertions and the walls weren't the thickest. There'd been countless times he'd had to go give the maknae's a stern talking to when they stayed up late laughing. Jinyoung's room was right next door, and he really wasn't in the mood to see his eyes light up with the promise of gossip and blackmail material.

He made his way to the main bathroom, walking in without knocking. Everyone had seen each other's junk at least once by now, if the person inside really wanted their privacy, they'd lock the door. Luckily, Mark was feeling generous today, because Jackson was bursting for a piss. He closed the door softly behind him, watching Mark's shape moving behind the steam covered glass. He relieved himself, deciding to flush after mark was done so he didn't burn the guy alive (something the members often did to each other). He washed his face and brushed his teeth, flexing his muscles in the mirror as he often did while taking in the fresh bruises at the base of his neck. While mark seemed averse to hickeys on himself, it didn't look like he minded riddling Jackson with them. 

He watched Mark for a moment, his slender form blurred by the steamy glass, and recalled how he'd looked in the darkness only a few hours ago. The older boys skin had been soft and smooth to his touch, his muscles not prominent like Jackson's but more of a suggestion, toned and firm beneath the pale skin. Even the hair between his legs was barely there unlike the thick patch that ran from Jackson's bellybutton and further. He traced his fingers absently over his former snail trail, missing it slightly as he felt the stubble there. He'd grown paranoid from the repeated comments on it, though he'd always liked it.

He leaned back against the sink, images of Mark's thighs around his waist as he fucked him deep running through his head, trying to recall the soft sounds the older man made, how his bitten lips felt against his own. He felt his cock stir in his shorts, and he reached down to take it in hand, stroking absently. Sexual frustration was no joke, and it was rare he had enough time alone to really enjoy getting himself off, often having to steal moments in the shower to relieve the tension (which was always cut short by some asshole barging in and telling him he was taking too long - or even worse, proclaiming they needed to take a dump, which always killed his boner). 

It was a constant fear, not knowing when you might pop a boner on stage or during a variety show, something his baggy pants saved him from countless times. He didn't know how Yugyeom and Bambam survived with all the teenage hormones running wild, but maybe they had some agreement between the two of them. Jinyoung was a lucky fucker, getting his own room alone. Mark hadn't been wrong when he'd asked if Jackson jerked off in their bedroom, but he never did it when the older guy was around - the humiliation of accidentally moaning his name was something he'd never wanted to experience.

Emboldened, he let his shorts drop to the tiled floor, padding over to the shower and cracking it open as silently as he could. Mark's ass was still slightly red from where his hand had smacked it, and he licked his lips at the sight of him, head raised to the shower head as he scrubbed his face, water running down his back, down the cleft of his buttocks. Jackson wanted to lick every drop. He didn't hesitate to grab Mark's ass roughly with both hands, but was disappointed at the lack of surprise the older showed, simply continuing to wash his face before turning his head with a raised eyebrow.

'I heard you come in.' He said simply, turning back to the spray as Jackson pouted in disappointment. He left his hands where they were, kneading the supple flesh contemplatively before he pressed forward, crowding Mark against the wall with his erection nuzzling between the firm cheeks. He moved in to suck at Mark's neck slowly, satisfied at the soft gasp the older let out against the tiles. 'Don't even think about trying anything,' he mumbled, even as he pressed back slowly, delicious friction against Jackson's cock. 'My ass is off limits for a week, you monster.' 

Jackson grinned against marks neck, nipping at the skin teasingly as he ran his hands down marks sides. 'You liked it though, right?' he said it teasingly, but it was an earnest question. reassurance really wouldn't go amiss, he'd feel shitty if Mark had actually just endured the whole experience. 'You said it was good last night,' he whispered breathily against his ear, feeling the older lean back slightly against his chest as Jackson imitated him with a wanton, needy voice, 'So good, Jackson. Fuck me hard-'

'I definitely didn't say that last part,' Mark refuted indignantly, turning to face Jackson. Well, at least he wasn't averse to Jackson's touch, if the semi he was sporting had any say in it. He placed his hands on Mark's buttocks again with a grin, pulling his hips against his own and groaning softly, drinking in the sight of Mark's head tilting back at the contact.

He pressed a firm kiss to his red lips, pulling away only slightly, 'Hmm, you'll be saying it pretty soon, though.' He leaned in for a deeper kiss, but found himself being pushed to the opposite wall, his back hitting the cold, wet tiles with a thump. Mark was definitely more awake than ten minutes ago, eyes bright with mischief and his lips quirked at the side. Jackson was about to ask what was wrong before Mark's eyes dropped to look between them, raking up Jackson's torso before he fixed his eyes upon him again. Jackson was definitely going to save that expression to his already overflowing wank bank. 

His mind practically exploded when Mark dropped to his knees, looking up at him with an eyebrow raised, his hand moving to wrap around the younger mans cock firmly. Jackson's eyes were as wide as saucers at the bold display of confidence from his usually docile friend, and he drank in the sight of him on his knees. His cock jumped in Mark's grip, and the older boy licked his lips. This guy was going to kill him, he was sure. His heart thudded in anticipation of his wet dreams coming true, and he threw his head back when Mark's lips stretched around the tip of his cock, sucking gently.

He forced himself to look down and take in the show Mark was putting on for him, seeing the older boy in what looked like deep thought, and he assumed he was thinking through every possible way he could do this wrong - as he was wont to do. It made Jackson's heart tighten slightly, because honestly how could Mark think Jackson would care if he did a crappy job - he wouldn't even notice if the guy bit his dick off, really. Okay, maybe he would notice, but he'd forgive him at some point, just for the sheer fact Mark had even considered getting that close to his dick. He reached out to run his fingers through marks hair soothingly, causing the older to look up. He smiled down at him, nodding encouragingly.

Mark blinked once, twice, before letting his eyes fall back to Jackson's aching member, his hand shifting up and down the length as if testing it out, before he held the base firmly once again, eyes fluttering shut as he licked the underside from his fist to the tip, making Jackson's abdomen twitch at the wet heat. Mark seemed emboldened from the quick taste, licking at the tip again before stretching his lips around him once more, taking him into his mouth properly this time. Jackson saw stars at the sensation, hardly bringing himself to believe his dick was actually in Mark's mouth. The older boy bobbed his head slowly, feeling out a rhythm and getting used to the girth in his mouth. Jackson had expected to feel teeth or the slide of too much spit, but Mark's determination to win at things seemed to reach to these endeavors too, the glide of his lips around Jackson's cock smooth and skillful.

He could hear his own heavy breaths echoing in the small space, and he wondered how good Mark would be after a bit of practice. The older had found his pace, bobbing faster and pressing his tongue to the underside, sucking in earnest as wet noises escaped his lips. Jackson felt like he was starring in a particularly stirring porno, and he dug his fingers into Marks hair, encouraging him. Jackson had only given a blowjob twice, and he knew how awkward it could be, how frightening it was to get it wrong. Knowing Mark was an anxious guy made him want to let him know that he was definitely doing it right. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the image of Mark on his knees, red lips stretched around his straining cock and his eyes closed in concentration.

One hand was placed groundingly on Jackson's thigh, but Jackson watched with dark eyes as the older boy let go, moving to wrap it around his own cock, now fully hard and straining against his abdomen. The words 'cock slut' came to mind, but his tongue felt too big for his mouth at that moment to spit out anything but stunted moans and whispered 'fucks'. He'd save that pet name for another time, which he was pretty confident there would be. He groaned when mark pulled away with a gasp, breaths heavy and lips coated with spit. His eyes were glued to Jackson's slick cock as he fisted it, squeezing as he pulled at it and making Jackson's knees go weak.

Jackson's choked when Mark leaned in again, taking too much of the younger boy's cock and gagging slightly, his throat contracting around the tip and making Jackson's eyes roll back. Mark didn't pull away, though, continuing to bob his head, his fist leaving the base to pull Jackson's hips closer, swallowing around him as he took him deep. When Jackson looked down at him again, Mark was looking back, eyes wet from choking but dark with lust, and it was too much when he felt a hand teasing at his balls, rolling them as his lips pressed against the base of his cock tightly. He tightened his grip on Mark's hair, mouth agape as he tried to signal his orgasm, but Mark only strengthened his grip on Jackson's hip, humming around his length, and Jackson's vision went black with pleasure.

His sudden moan echoed in the small space, only managing to regain his senses enough to gape down at Mark as his face crumpled at the shock of the younger boy's come shooting down his throat, pulling away so only the tip was in his mouth as he stroked Jackson though his orgasm. Jackson watched in dumbstruck awe as the older boy pulled off with wet, abused lips, eyes squinting as his throat bobbed before his tongue darted out to catch the last drop of come from Jackson's cock.

Jackson felt like he was staring at an actual demon, and he stood there with weak legs, panting with his back pressed to the tiles. Mark still kneeled there, the water still hitting his back as his hand returned to his neglected cock, fisting it wantonly, his hips bucking into his own touch and his head thrown back, eyebrows knitted and a lip caught between his teeth. If being an idol didn't work out, Jackson was sure Mark could get by as a porn star with very little trouble.

He ran his tongue over his dry lips, his hand reaching out to trace Mark's jaw line, their eyes locking. He pulled at Mark's plump lip with a thumb, feeling his mouth run dry as the older boy sucked it into his mouth wantonly, not breaking eye contact. He pulled his hand away, a soft pop leaving Mark's mouth at the loss of Jackson's digit, before he fisted it in the older boy's hair, pulling his head back roughly and guiding his softening cock to his red lips. He pushed against them as Mark's eyelids fluttered, parting to take the flesh back into his mouth slowly, sucking deeply on Jackson's oversensitive member.

He looked filthy as Jackson pressed his cock against the inside of his cheek, fucking gently into Mark's mouth as the older boy's hand sped up against his own cock, hips stuttering as his climax surged and urgent noises vibrated against Jackson's member tantalizingly. He pulled Mark away from his cock, letting it fall flaccid between his legs as Mark began to whine, his usually deep voice hitting another octave as he looked up at the younger boy desperately. 'Come for me, Mark,' he growled, surprised at the roughness of his own voice. 'I want to watch you.'

Mark caught his lip between his teeth again, his eyes fluttering shut as his fist dragged against his cock two, three times before he looked up at Jackson almost as if he was surprised, mouth falling open in a silent shout. Shuddering gasps left his lips as his hips jumped, thick ropes of come striping the shower floor. Jackson fell to his knees, dragging Mark to his chest and kissing him hard through his orgasm, tongues twisting while Mark moaned into his mouth. When Mark had regained his senses, Jackson felt strong hands pressing against his chest as the older boy pushed him away with a dazed look on his face, a lazy grin on his lips.

Lips that had only five minutes ago been wrapped around his cock.

Jackson couldn't tear his eyes away from them, and Mark's tongue darted out to run over the plump flesh, as if he was teasing him. Jackson leaned in hungrily, but Mark darted up and out of the way, standing on shaky legs out of Jackson's reach. He looked up at the older boy with wide eyes, a pout on his lips as the older grinned down at him devilishly. 

'Was it good?' Mark asked, his voice completely wrecked, and Jackson felt a surge of pride knowing he was the cause. Jackson smirked, getting to his feet too and placing his palms either side of Mark, trapping him. 

'So good.' he breathed, leaning in to capture Mark's lips again, but the older slapped a palm against his puckered lips, giggling. 

'Well at least I know how to shut you up, now.' 

Jackson looked at him with feigned hurt, clutching at his chest as the older freed himself from Jackson's embrace, tottering out of the shower and leaving him there dumbstruck. 

As he watched the older dry off and rinse his mouth, he took comfort in the fact that his slight limp was because of him. 

-

They'd all spent their day off differently; Bambam dragging Yugyeom off for a shopping trip, Jackson and Jaebum working out and Youngjae writing music. Mark was simply lazing in Jinyoung's room, gossiping with the younger boy as Coco lay between them, basking in the attention.

Mark scratched behind his fluffy ears, smiling softly as the white ball of fluff closed its eyes in contentment before he returned his attention to Jinyoung. The younger was still in his pyjamas, not bothering to wash up for the day. When Mark had come to talk to him, he'd still been wrapped up in his duvet, dead to the world at 1pm. He watched him yawn widely, eyebags deep and 5 o'clock shadow prominent. 

'You look like shit.' He commented frankly, and Jinyoung shrugged his shoulders sagely. They were always brutally honest with each other, sharing secrets and gossip the other members had no idea about. Together they knew every dirty little habit the other members had, all the secrets they'd gathered over the years, and every detail about each other. Jinyoung was sat on his bed, a plushie between his crossed legs while Mark lay stretched across the foot of it, head and legs hanging off each end. 

'I take days off very seriously. If being an idol is work, today I'm not at work, so kill me if I'm not in the mood to put on a pound of makeup and smile.' 

'Geez, okay grumpy guts.' Mark teased, rolling onto his side to smirk at the younger, who raised an eyebrow, a twinkle in his eyes. Mark felt a dread rise in him, his smirk faltering - that look was never good.

'I heard some questionable noises coming from your room last night, anyway.' He leaned forward with a grin, and Mark threw his head back, groaning. 'Sharing is caring, Mark.'

'You're the worst.' Mark whined, but Jinyoung knew when he'd struck gold, and he bounced where he sat, making Coco jump off the bed, flustered. 

'Tell me, tell me, t-t-t-tell me!' He crooned in English as the bed creaked, Mark wobbling around until he sat up defeated, resigned to his fate.

'Fine, fine,' he sighed, 'Sit still, you're making me sick.'  Jinyoung settled back, getting comfortable with a devious smile on his lips, the face he usually put on when he was about to hear something worth listening to. 'I got the wang.'

'The Jackson Wang?' Jinyoung teased, and Mark rolled his eyes. 'Is it big? No, don't tell me, that's gross. I feel like I'm asking about my kids getting it on. I don't know how to break it to you, Mark, but you're adopted - your relationship with Jackson is totally not incestuous, you have mothers blessing.' Mark yelled in embarrassment before Jinyoung clapped a hand to his mouth, laughing gleefully and pulling him down to lie with him. 'Seriously, though - was he good?'

Mark licked his lips, looking anywhere but at Jinyoung, who was waiting intently for a reply. 'Yeah, I guess.'

'You guess? Markie, if that blush is anything to go by it was better than that. Indulge me, please.' He sighed whistfully, 'I won't be getting any soon so at least give me juicy details to nourish me.'

Mark frowned at Jinyoung, sympathy in his eyes. 'Still no progress with JB?'

'Progress? That implies we've started at some point.' He laughed without humor. 'I mean, it's not the way it was when we debuted together, thank God, but he's still so distant with me. He put his arm round me in the car last night and I nearly died. It's different when the cameras aren't rolling, I almost believe that things are different...'

'But then...' Mark started, and Jinyoung nodded sorrowfully.

'But then he drags Youngjae in for a wrestle and it's back to hetero bro roughhousing.'

'You're thinking about it too much, Jinyoungie.' Mark smiled comfortingly, patting his bare knee. 'You guys really need to have a talk.'

'I don't trust myself to talk honestly to him,' he shook his head, 'It would either end up with me crying or throwing myself at him.  You know, I walked in on him getting in the shower last week. He's grown a lot since JJProject, I came twice just thinking about it-'

'Oh God, spare me.' Mark wailed, clapping his hands over his ears, and Jinyoung threw his head back with laughter, always happy to torture Mark with details. Mark propped himself up on an elbow, calling Coco back up to the bed and pulling him against his chest. 'Jackson said he and Jaebum were gonna bring some drinks tonight, maybe this is your chance to get things cleared up? Jaebum drinks a lot if he's in the right mood, you could ask him everything and he won't remember the next day, so no embarrassment for you.'

Jinyoung considered it for a moment, sighing heartily. 'But do I really want to hear the truth?'

'You never know. Just yesterday I was thinking Jackson would never like me back and then this morning I was on my knees in the shower-'

'ON YOUR KNEES?' Jinyoung screeched, and Mark regretted every decision he'd ever made. 'IN THE SHOWER?'

Mark was thankful the house was empty apart from Youngjae, safely tucked away in the soundproof piano room.

'YOU SLUT.'

-

Mark was saved from Jinyoung's thorough questioning on his recent sexual exploits by the return of the maknae's, loaded up with clothes and shoes and whatever else. BamBam threw an impromptu fashion show, bringing their disco nightlight into the living room to the sound of Vogue by Madonna, and Mark took up his perch on the sofa, glad for the distraction from the spotlight on his sex life. He wasn't a prude by any means, all his friends from Cali would testify to his fuckboy credibility, but this was new territory for him. Jinyoung never pushed to the point where he was uncomfortable, but a break was gratefully received. 

He watched their antics for a while, but quickly grew distracted. Jinyoung made up for Mark's lack of attention by joining in on the disaster, anyway, so he wasn't missed. His mind replayed the morning in detail, how it felt to wake up against Jackson's chest, the warmth he'd felt knowing that the younger boy was watching him. Jackson fidgeted a lot in his sleep, and honestly Mark was feeling pretty worn out from their exertions and the lack of rest he'd been able to find after. The younger man had passed out almost immediately after they'd wrestled weakly about the abuse of Mark's clothing, but the older had been glad of the chance to be so close to him, wrapped in his arms and seeing him at peace, knowing he belonged there, that there'd be no repercussions for watching. 

His ass ached even now, his thighs feeling stretched and sore from Jackson holding him open, but the burn was bearable when paired with the memory it brought.

He knew Jackson would follow him to the bathroom at some point, but he'd still felt a thrill run through him when the door had opened, his heart racing in anticipation. The image of Jackson dripping wet and overcome with pleasure would be burned into his mind forever, he thought. Whatever nervousness he'd held had fled the moment the younger had looked down at Mark with those dark eyes, and Mark definitely wanted to perfect his technique. He wanted to see just how loud he could make Jackson moan. 

His jaw still felt tight from his exertions, the weight of Jackson's cock on his tongue still fresh in his mind. Sucking dick was more difficult than he'd anticipated, but he'd found himself longing to do it one more time, eager to feel the power he'd had over the younger boy again. 

Jackson was, without a doubt, a great lay. However, Mark's thoughts always returned to the soft glances Jackson bestowed upon him, even when he was pressing his softening cock hard against Mark's sore lips, there was emotion there that Mark felt fearful to name. Mark was scared his own feelings were similar.

There was a talk in their near future, and Mark's mind was buzzing as he tried to construct the right words, how to piece everything together. There was no way they could let their newfound attentions affect the group, after all the ordeals the members had to go through to get to this point. When he'd woken up in Jackson's arms, his first thought had fallen on whether Jackson would still be in the same mind he had been last night, whether Mark was just a release for sexual tension, a willing partner. Now, he wasn't so sure. Either way, Mark found himself none too caring over whether Jackson was serious about him or not, satisfied for the moment to bask in the glow of his best friend's affection.

He was pulled from his thoughts when the door opened, Jackson and Jaebum tumbling in with heavy bags clinking against each other. Maybe his heart skipped a beat at the appearance of the holder of his heated thoughts, and maybe his eyes roved up and down the younger boys body for a beat too long, but he turned his attention away from lusty thoughts quickly enough.

Jaebum went to the kitchen, taking half of Jackson's load with him as he disappeared around the corner, the younger making a beeline for Mark.

He sat up on the sofa from where he'd been slumped, making space for Jackson to throw himself down and sprawl across Mark. He bit back the nervous lump that formed in his throat at the contact, reminding himself this was how they normally acted around each other, that it would be weirder if they didn't touch at all.

Jackson tilted his head back to look up at Mark, and he thought his heart was going to jump from his chest. 'Miss me?' He crooned, a sickeningly sweet expression on his face, and Mark pulled a face, slapping a hand over the younger boys stupid face and giggling as he struggled playfully against him. 

He could feel a gaze burning a hole in his face, and he glanced to see Jinyoung watching with a knowing smirk. Jackson followed his eyes, looking between the two of them. Mark could only nod at him solemnly, and Jackson slumped against him. 'Is there anything Jinyoung doesn't know?' he whined quietly, shifting to a sitting position as he dug around in the bags by his feet, pulling out a pack of beers and passing one to Mark. 'What are these idiots doing, anyway?'

BamBam was, at that point, squeezing his skinny legs into a pair of jeans no human could possibly fit into, and Mark wondered how the boy ever managed to walk in them. Jackson probably wouldn't even be able to fit his forearm in one of the legs. 

Eventually the rabble calmed down and beers were shared amongst them, Youngjae leaving his music-cave to join them as they played games and laughed. Mark lay against the arm of the sofa, Jackson sat on the floor near him as he chattered away with BamBam, Mark's arm loosely hanging around his neck. Yugyeom was teasing Jaebum ruthlessly as Youngjae crowed with laughter, Jinyoung looking on fondly as Jaebum's patience started to wane. 

By 10pm they were all well on their way to drunkenness, to the point where even Mark was joining in with their attempts at girl group dances, not missing the way Jackson looked at him as he awkwardly shook his hips. When Hyuna's 'Roll Deep' started to blare, the room was quickly thrown into havoc, limbs flying and bootys twerking all over the place. Jaebum was giving BamBam a run for his money, hips rolling like it was going out of fashion, and Mark wasn't surprised to see Jinyoung completely lost in the scene, mouth agape gracelessly.

They had to give Yugyeom a time out when the slow, sexy songs came on, the maknae getting a little too intimate with the floor than they were all comfortable with. Jackson tried to drag Mark up to join him, but the oldest refused - he always got a funny stomach when he drank, preferring to sit around and watch than shake up the cocktail of fluids sloshing around inside him. He watched with rapt attention, though, as Jackson latched onto Jaebum instead, the two of them making a show of it. While it was all in jest, he still felt a flare of jealousy shoot through him as they ground against eachother. 

The kids were enjoying the show, yelling and hooting at the display their hyungs were putting on, but Jinyoung's expression was another story. While his mouth was smiling, his eyes most definitely were not.

Soon enough the party slowed down, the seven of them sitting together and sharing jokes and stories. Youngjae was demonstrating his English skills, making Mark feel like he'd split a kidney if he laughed any harder. Before long the honorifics were slipping and Jaebum was dealing out the harshness at every opportunity, the maknaes turning to Mark for protection he half-heartedly offered. 

At one point they ended up making Yugyeom cry, and a very drunk BamBam removed him, stumbling haphazardly to their bedroom for the night. Somehow Yugyeom could hold his drink better than the lot of them, something about his sheer size making it harder to inebriate him. BamBam on the other hand only needed to smell alcohol to get buzzed. 

Jaebum was sat on the floor, sipping what must have been his tenth beer, speech slurring as he and Youngjae crooned a trot song, forgetting half the lyrics and ultimately making the group dissolve into hysterics. Jinyoung ended up in Mark's lap while Jackson joined the others on the floor, wrapped up in some game involving the unfortunate Youngjae being physically tortured in different ways. 

'Jaebum's drunk.' Mark assessed quietly, turning Jinyoung's attention away from the loud brawl taking place before them. He looked at Mark with an expression of ' _what is your point_ ' and Mark smirked devilishly, eyelids drooping slightly from the warm embrace of alcohol. Jinyoung didn't seem to be affected, but Mark knew the younger just tended to keep a tighter grip on his awareness when he drank. He was just as wrecked as the rest of them underneath his motherly facade. 'I'm getting sleepy, don't think I won't abandon you to your fate Jinyoungie.'

'Youngjae is here, your threats mean nothing to me.' He drawled, eyebrow raised indignantly. Mark simply nodded towards the boy in question, currently frantically tapping out of whatever martial arts hold the two older boys had him trapped in. Youngjae's face was a startling shade of red, his breathless smile loose and lazy on his face as he wobbled around, tripping over his own feet as he tried to stand.

'You know Youngjae doesn't last long - it's amazing he's still conscious. My threats should always be taken seriously, young one.' Mark said conspiritorally, giggling at the fear in Jinyoung's wide eyes, betrayal painted over his features. He gripped at Mark's shirt dramatically.

'Yah, Hyung, don't do this to me.' He groaned, and Mark wrestled him around before he could make himself cry in an attempt to sway the older boys heart. 'I'm still so young, don't let me die like this.' He wailed through his choked laughter as Mark tickled him ruthlessly, leaving him a breathless mess on the floor before he stood over him, a grin on his features.

'Youngjae, come and get some water.' Mark beckoned, helping the younger to his wobbly feet. As Youngjae stumbled into the kitchen, Mark lingered a moment to catch Jackson's eye, biting his lip with a promise in his eyes before he followed after the Mokpo boy. Mark was gonna get laid and get a good nights sleep, and Jinyoung was going to meet his fate.


	3. Three

\- Three -

Jinyoung could only stare after Mark as the older boy leadYoungjae from the room, his heart dropping at the loss of two of his safety nets. His head was spinning slightly, the warm burn of alcohol making his cheeks flush red. However, with the lack of moral support he suddenly felt far too sober, cracking open another beer in a hurry. Jackson was on his feet only moments after Mark departed, a sudden urgency in his eyes, wishing Jinyoung and Jaebum goodnight as he scuttled towards his bedroom.

'Kids can't hold their drink.' Jaebum grumbled, moving to set his empty can on the table and missing it by about a meter. 'Hm, shit.'

Jinyoung set his still half-full beer down successfully, getting to his feet and feeling the alcohol thrum in his veins, the room blurring before his eyes. You never realised how drunk you were until you decided to move. 'I think it's time we all went to bed.' Jinyoung smiled with sympathy, stretching melodramatically to disguise his sudden urgent need to remove himself from Jaebum's presence. The older boys gaze was always a little too much, too strong when it was focused solely on one person. Jinyoung always buckled beneath it, and this situation was no different.

He startled when Jaebum snatched his hand urgently, pulling him down to the floor. 'Stay for a bit, Jinyoungie,' he crooned, his lips quirked in a lazy smile. He looked like a cat who'd had too much cream, content and languorous as he leant on an elbow, long legs stretched out. Jinyoung's heart was pounding like a drum, but his body felt like lead and he couldn't find the strength to run away or argue further. The older boys fingers were warm around Jinyoung's fingers, and the younger pulled away from his grip almost too abruptly in his nervousness. Jaebum didn't seem to notice his agitation, and Jinyoung took comfort in how loose the older boy would become under the influence.

Settling back against the sofa, Jinyoung crossed his legs and took his beer to hand again, needing something to hold onto as his thoughts burned in his mind. Jaebum was staring at him intently, his strong gaze driving Jinyoung into a corner. 'It's different to how we used to be, isn't it?'

'In what way?' Jinyoung asked quietly, pulled in by Jaebum's unusually soft tone. The two of them rarely shared quiet words, Jaebum always preferring to leave Jinyoung with burning questions and a heavy heart.

'You've changed a lot, now that we're with these guys,' Jaebum paused at every other word, sluggish and clumsy. 'You used to be so awkward. I admit I wasn't much better, though.' He chuckled softly, deep and throaty, and Jinyoung felt a soft smile tug at his own lips. He'd watched Jaebum trade words easily like this with the other members, and he was warmed to be on the receiving end of his affection for once .'I really made you hate me, didn't I?' Jaebum asked seriously, his smile fading in anticipation of Jinyoung's response. Jinyoung didn't even have to think.

'I don't hate you.'

'You did before, though. I didn't give you any reason to like me.'

'I've never hated you, hyung.'

Jaebum raised an eyebrow, and the younger was confused as he watched him get to his feet, leaning over to crack open another beer. The older boy sat down heavily beside Jinyoung, throwing an arm around his shoulder sloppily. Jinyoung tensed immediately, but Jaebum was too gone to notice. This was definitely a good time to get drunker, Jinyoung thought, and he nearly choked on his beer as when he necked it back, causing Jaebum to burst out in laughter, patting his back roughly and - honestly - making it worse.

Jaebum was really, really strong, his palm thudding against the hollow of Jinyoung's back. 'I'm fine, I'm fine.' Jinyoung pleaded, thankful when his hyung relented. However, he couldn't hold back the yelp that left his lips when the older boy lay back against the arm of the chair, pulling Jinyoung down to lie awkwardly against his chest. He was startled by the older mans clinginess, the outward affection he was showing. Jaebum could be touchy, but it was usually shown to Yugyeom or Jackson, and always in a more rough bro-type manner. Jinyoung's nose was pressed into Jaebum's shirt, and he could smell the older boys cologne, feel his hard chest beneath him, how it rose and fell. He let out a shaky breath, waiting for Jaebum to say something, but he just lay there with an arm over Jinyoung and the other hanging loosely off the sofa, beer dangling precariously in his lax grip.

'Why were you so harsh with me before?' Jinyoung breathed, almost hoping Jaebum wouldn't hear, but when he glanced up he saw those strong eyes crack open as if the older had been on the brink of slumber. He watched his adams apple bob as he swallowed, licking his lips. When he looked down at the younger, Jinyoung found himself wishing he was gazing at him like that for another, more impossible, reason.

'You have no idea how tempting you are, do you?' Jaebum's voice rumbled, voice thick and eyes dark. Jinyoung felt his heart pick up speed, Jaebum's chest vibrating against his cheek as he spoke. 'I was stuck with you every day when we were trainees. Hormones flying all over the place and having to question my sexuality every time I saw you... it made me so confused and angry. I just ended up taking it out on you, I guess.'

Jinyoung's eyes were wide, shocked beyond speech. Jaebum took a long sip from his beer, his head tilted back and exposing his neckline to Jinyoung's thirsty stare. His mind was racing, coming up with every reason why he shouldn't believe what Jaebum was saying, that he was drunker than he felt, that his eyes and ears were lying to him, that he was finding meaning where there was none. Jaebum's tongue darted over his lips again, and Jinyoung followed the motion, the heat of the older boy's body beneath him becoming unbearable.

'I thought that if I rejected you I could reject how I was feeling, so I just kept pushing you away. It was easier when these guys came along, it wasn't just us anymore. Watching you grow, though... honestly, I'm hungry.' His eyes roved darkly over Jinyoung's face, and Jinyoung felt a sudden anger rise in him.

He rose dizzily from where he lay, clumsily straddling Jaebum's hips and pulling at the collar of his shirt, eyebrows knitted in frustration. 'If this is your idea of a joke, it's not funny,' he hissed, eyes growing wet with tears. He'd taken enough torture from Jaebum's indifference over the years, yet this sudden play of affection hurt so much more. 'I don't like being toyed with, hyung. Do you think my feelings are something you can laugh at? Do you know how much I've endured because of who I am, what I am?'

His hands were shaking where they gripped at the fabric of Jaebum's shirt, and the older boy leaned forward, his eyes soft as he tried to catch Jinyoung's faltering gaze. Soft sobs left the youngers lips against his will as his chin fell to his chest, ashamed to be seen in such a pathetic state. He heard Jaebum set his beer down on the floor, the soft clink seeming loud in the silence of the dorm. Jinyoung jumped slightly when his chin was caught in the older boy's strong grip, forcing him to look into his eyes. He resisted for a moment, but Jaebum held him still, eyes imploring.

'Do you think I'm the kind of guy who'd take something like this lightly?' His voice was barely above a whisper, 'I'm scared too.'

Jinyoung met his gaze weakly, feeling the wetness on his own cheeks as he worried his bottom lip with his teeth. His mind was a mess, humiliated to be seen this way, to be touched and spoken to so gently by someone who'd always treated him so coldly. A shaky breath left his lips as Jaebum ran a hand along his thigh, resting it on his hip, his eyes raking over him.

'We were just kids when we met, but I couldn't stop looking at you even then. Lately it's like I've blinked and you've become even more perfect.' He smiled up at Jinyoung drunkenly, 'Sometimes I can't sleep at night, knowing you're in your room all alone... ah, you could be doing anything in there.' He winked, and Jinyoung batted at him half-heartedly, mock disgust on his face. Jaebum chuckled, wiping Jinyoung's tears away before trailing his hand down to thumb at his lip, eyes lingering there. 'I wonder, you know, if you ever think about me the same, how many people you've touched, kissed.'

'None,' the word was barely audible, but Jaebum's eyes glinted, his hand dropping to loosely rest at Jinyoung's throat. 'It's not that straight forward, you know. People like me can't just walk outside and pick someone up. My crushes stay just that - a crush.'

'I can change that if you'll let me,' Jaebum breathed, rubbing circles into Jinyoung's neck. 'It'd be a crime if lips like yours went unkissed any longer.' Jinyoung couldn't help but roll his eyes at the cheesiness Jaebum was oozing, even if his heart sped up at the thought of the older boy's lips against his own. 'Yah, I'm serious.' he griped, a laugh on his lips. He sat up, maneuvering Jinyoung back against the sofa, hovering above the younger boy with intent.

How many times had Jinyoung dreamt of this situation, of having Jaebum looking at him this way? Even with the alcohol blurring his thoughts, his chest was still tight with trepidation, the urge to run almost urgent. As Jaebum leaned closer, the younger reached out a hand, stilling him when he laid it firmly against the older boys broad chest.

'If you regret this tomorrow, don't let this affect the group.' He warned, pulling strength from somewhere even though his heart was desperate for Jaebum to consume him entirely, regardless of the repercussions.

Jaebum nodded softly, resting his arm above Jinyoung's head as he leaned but a breath away from the youngers lips. 'I won't regret this.'

Jinyoung's head span as the older boy's warm lips pressed against his own, firm and sincere, his eyes fluttering shut at the sensation. He'd wanted this for so long and he lost himself in the sensation for a moment, letting the older boy push against his mouth with practiced motions, urging jinyoung to follow his lead. He began to kiss back quickly enough, tentatively rolling with the other boys rhythm, his hands finding their way to Jaebum's back, fingers digging into his shoulder blades. Jaebum deepened the kiss, and Jinyoung found himself quickly frustrated with his own lack of experience, his thoughts whirling over whether Jaebum was disappointed, whether he'd pull away in disgust soon enough.

His thoughts flew apart, though, when the older rolled his hips against his own. Jinyoung gasped against his lips at the friction, eyes flying open for a moment when Jaebum's tongue delved in to tangle with his own. So this was what he'd been missing. Though Jinyoung didn't have anything to compare him to, he still felt he could make a fair observation in naming Jaebum a good kisser. They were both breathing heavily, kisses broken by gasps for air every few seconds, and Jinyoung threaded his fingers into Jaebum's short hair, pulling him in closer, kissing back with urgency.

Jaebum seemed surprised by his sudden dominance, pausing momentarily before letting the younger explore his mouth. Jinyoung jumped when a hand trailed between them, dancing its way down his chest before pressing roughly against his crotch and palming at his semi-hard cock. His eyes rolled, his back arching at the new sensation. Jaebum's lips moved to his jaw, his throat, sucking and biting at the unexplored skin.

Jinyoung pushed Jaebum away firmly, and the older boy was startled, looking at him with an expression of confusion and dejection. 'What's wrong?' He asked brokenly, eyes hazy with want even as he frowned.

Jinyoung breaths were still heavy, wanting so desperately to kiss the man again, but he resisted. Firming his resolve he called upon the sober Jinyoung, begging for his guidance. 'Don't do something you'll regret, Jaebum,' he whispered harshly, almost pleading. If Jaebum continued, Jinyoung wouldn't have the strength to stop. It would break him if Jaebum ended up repulsed by Jinyoung's body, if his touch was replaced by disgust and the coldness he'd grown to know for so long. 'You've never touched a guy, right?' Jaebum nodded dumbly, 'If you don't like it, I don't want it to be my fault.'

'How could I not like it?' The older boy chuckled incredulously, looming over him once again. 'Hmm, Jinyoungie, you don't think I've thought about you in this way before? You don't know how many times I've wondered how you'd sound if I fucked you, how you'd look when i made you come...'

Jinyoung felt every blood cell in his body run south, every inch of skin tingling as Jaebum looked at him like prey, eyes hungry, devouring him. Just the idea of Jaebum fisting his cock and thinking about him would have got him off in minutes any other time, and he felt himself giving in to the older boy already.

'I won't do anything you don't want me to do.' Jaebum breathed against his lips, and Jinyoung finally snapped. He dragged Jaebum down to kiss him once again as he rolled his hips up to meet him, sucking at his lower lip before the older boy pulled away in surprise. He flashed a quick smirk before he consumed Jinyoung once again. His breath was thick with the taste of beer, but Jinyoung's couldn't have been much better. Somehow it made the kiss even headier, the feel of Jaebum's stubble against his jaw driving him crazy.

Jaebum sat back suddenly, breaking the kiss and leaving Jinyoung bewildered and disappointed, wondering if he'd done something wrong. He followed Jaebum's gaze dumbly, watching the older boy trail his eyes down Jinyoung's body before halting at his crotch. His breath caught when Jaebum began to fumble at his jeans button, pulling the zip down clumsily, making Jinyoung moan suddenly as the fabric loosened, erection shifting in his boxers. He threw his head back in shock when Jaebum's strong hand gripped him through the fabric, palming him as Jinyoung stared up at him in wonder, overwhelmed at the feeling of being touched where he'd never before been touched by another hand. Jaebum leaned down again, sucking at his throat and littering breathy kisses against his collarbone. 'So beautiful.' Jaebum all but growled against his skin, his palm pressing firmly against his cock and making Jinyoungs mind whirl.

Somewhere in the blur of sensations, he heard a door open, clumsy feet shuffling across the floor. He sat up abruptly, knocking Jaebum off balance. The older fell to the floor with a dizzy, confused look on his face, looking up at Jinyoung, a question on his tongue, but the younger shook his head frantically as he signaled Jaebum to stay quiet, turning his head to listen. The footsteps continued before he heard the bathroom door close. He pressed his palm to his heart in relief, and the sounds of retching quickly followed, both Jaebum and Jinyoung scrunching their faces in disgust, the vibe completely lost.

'If we're gonna do this, we're not doing it here.' Jinyoung stated firmly, and Jaebum nodded quickly. Jinyoung didn't miss the glint in the older's slanted eyes as he stood, though, and yelped when the older dragged him up, lifting him by his ass and carrying him on wobbly legs, lips locking again. The younger man wrapped his arms around the older's neck to keep himself up, legs locked at his lower back as he kissed back desperately. Jaebum's strength was such a fucking turn on.

The way to his bedroom seemed unusually long, Jaebum stumbling and knocking them into walls along the way. It took him a good minute to get the door to the maknae's room open, and Jinyoung detached himself from the older in frustration, getting back on his feet and leading the older quietly through into his own adjoining room. He pushed Jaebum hard onto his bed, seeing him bounce with a luxurious smile on his lips before he turned to pull the curtain across, hiding them away from the clear doors that led into the maknae's room. He didn't want to scar the kids if they woke up in the night - Yugyeom had once woken up to use Jinyoung's en-suite and walked in on the older boy jerking off, bursting into tears in embarrassment and causing an extremely awkward situation, an event Jinyoung never wanted to repeat.

He walked to the foot of the bed, pulling his shirt over his head and feeling his heart thumping wildly, caught between nervousness and anticipation. As he unveiled his bare chest, Jaebum turned his bedside lamp on and a sudden bout of insecurity rose in him at being exposed to the older boys eyes. The demon in question had arranged himself comfortably, sitting back against the headboard with his arms locked behind his head and his legs stretched out casually as if he was watching a show.

Jinyoung had kind of assumed they'd be doing this in the dark, where Jaebum wouldn't be able to see his imperfections. The older boy apparently noticed his momentary hesitation, leaning forward and cocking his head to the side with a soft smile. 'You okay over there?' His words were more slurred than before, and Jinyoung could tell from past observations that he had about half an hour before Jaebum would be out for the count.

'Take your shirt off.' He heard himself command with a voice far more confident than how he actually felt. He didn't have time to regret his words before Jaebum was smirking indulgently, pulling his shirt over his head as if unwrapping a present, and jinyoung really had never recieved anything this good. Jaebum was toned and broad, and Jinyoung drank in the sight of his flexing biceps, slender hips, his sharp v line, the sight of dark hair disappearing under his jeans. Absently, he trailed a hand down his own chest, not missing how the older boy's eyes followed the path hungrily. Jinyoung stilled when he reached his still open fly, teasing the material of his boxers. Jaebum was watching him expectantly, and Jinyoung's reservations had fled in his lust. 'Everything,' Jaebum raised an eyebrow as Jinyoung dropped formal speech, 'Take it all off.'

'Jinyoungie really is all grown up,' Jaebum crooned even as he fumbled with his belt, clumsy fingers tugging at his button and furiously pulling at his zipper. Jinyoung didn't know when his hand had moved lower, but he bit his lip at the feel of his own fingers dipping into his boxers, wrapping around his cock as he watched jaebum undress. The older boy's legs were long and pale, and Jinyoung watched with a dry mouth as Jaebum's abs rippled while he pulled his jeans off completely, sitting back again and teasingly pulling at the waistband of his boxers.

Jinyoungs mouth was dry, and he licked at his lower lip, swallowing in anticipation. He could see the shape of Jaebum's hard cock straining against the white fabric, and he gasped as he watched the boy slip a hand inside, slowly wrapping his fist around the thickness. Jaebum's head lolled, satisfaction in his features as he stroked himself slowly, those penetrating eyes never leaving Jinyoung's face.

They stayed like that for a moment before Jaebum finally gave Jinyoung what he was waiting for, pulling his boxers off completely. His legs fell open lazily, the younger boy's eyes raking over the newly exposed skin, and Jaebum raised an eyebrow cockily. Well, he certainly had something to be proud of, the younger man would at least give him that. He drank in the sight of Jaebum's length, the way it curved against his abdomen, the redness of the tip. It made his own cock twitch in his grip, just from knowing it was him that had the older boy so aroused. Jaebum shifted to his knees slowly, crawling down the bed until he kneeled before Jinyoung. He gripped his hips to pull him closer as he kissed him firmly, the younger man having to tilt his head down to meet the others lips. It was messy and full of teeth and tongue, but Jinyoung enjoyed it thoroughly nonetheless, greedy for Jaebum's attention.

Jaebum's hands slipped beneath the fabric of Jinyoung's boxers, squeezing the younger boy's ass roughly and making him gasp at the contact, at the pleasurable twinge that ran up his spine. The older boy kneaded the supple flesh in his strong hands, lips leaving Jinyoungs open mouth to nip at his throat, leaving open mouthed kisses on his chest and running his tongue over a pert nipple. The older spread his cheeks apart slowly as his mouth made its way down the younger boy's body, and Jinyoung felt his cock drip at the sensation, just the idea of Jaebum touching him between the parted flesh making his legs go weak. However, the older didn't bring Jinyoung's fantasy to fruition, instead pulling him closer suddenly and causing the younger man to fall upon him, knees landing to straddle Jaebum's thighs. The older man twisted, throwing Jinyoung down onto the bed and clambering atop of him, claiming his lips again in earnest.

They were grinding against each other with vigor now, the drag of Jaebum's cock almost too much for Jinyoung even through the fabric of his boxers. Jaebum nuzzled at his neck as Jinyoung gasped and writhed. 'I want to fuck you so bad,' he mumbled, and Jinyoung's head span, his cock filling out even more with just those breathy words pressed to his damp skin - but his mind won out with nervous worries, and he pushed Jaebum up and off him, switching their positions as he straddled the older man. 'What's wrong?' asked Jaebum blearily, face twisted with confusion as if Jinyoung had all but punched him in the face.

'Just this tonight,' he pointed between them vaguely, 'I.. I'm not ready for anything else.'

There was a pause as Jaebum took in his words slowly, and Jinyoung thought he'd ruined the moment entirely. As Jinyoung let himself succumb to the thought that he'd lost his chance to get Jaebum exactly where he wanted him, the older boy's eyes warmed, hands moving to hold his waist.

'That's fine. Like I said, I won't do anything you don't want me to.'

At those gentle words, Jinyoung's fears dissipated and he steeled himself to enjoy what he had in front of him. Jaebum was completely loose now, lust and exhaustion making him seem to be melting into the mattress. Jinyoung pulled his boxers down to his thighs in a quick, fluid motion, knowing he'd chicken out if he waited any longer. Taking a quick breath, he watched nervously as Jaebum's eyes opened wide to drink in the sight of his dripping cock.

The unrestrained desire in the older boy's gaze made Jinyoung bold, and he quickly took himself in hand as he scooted further up Jaebum's thighs, lowering himself slowly and hissing through his teeth when he pressed himself against Jaebum's length. The older boy groaned, hands gripping desperately at Jinyoung's ass and pulling him down harder to rut against him. Jaebum's voice was rough and strained, and Jinyoung was filled when he had to muffle that beautiful sound with a palm to the older boy's mouth, wishing he could indulge. He couldn't risk waking the maknae's, even if they slept like the dead. His own moans were barely audible, more gasps than anything else. every nerve was on fire but he had too much self control to let his voice out.

Jaebum was pulling him down against his cock almost frantically, setting a pace Jinyoung could only just keep up with while still being able to catch his breath, and he could feel pleasure building at the base of his spine, the telltale tightening of his balls. Their cocks were slick with precum, the slide delicious where they were trapped between their chests. Jaebum's hips rolled up against him like the tide of an unforgiving sea, sweat slick on their skin and lips bruised from rough kisses.

Jinyoung felt too hot, too good, and looking down to see Jaebum utterly lost in pleasure sent him hurtling over the edge. He groaned out loud, hips shuddering and rhythm faltering as thick ropes of cum shot between them. Jaebum's previously tightly shut eyes opened to fix upon him, thrusting against him roughly through his orgasm until Jinyoung shook one last time, going weak against Jaebum's chest.

The older tilted his head to kiss him deeply, filthily before rolling them over with ease. He kneeled, wrapping Jinyoung's hand around his hard cock. Jinyoung could only stare up in bewildered bliss, fisting Jaebum's slick length reverently. It was thick and heavy in his hand, and as he ran his thumb over the slit he watched the older boy tense suddenly. Jinyoung drank in the sight, etching the pleasure on Jaebum's face into his memory, the sound of his broken voice as he choked out Jinyoung's name. The older boy thrust weakly into Jinyoung's grip through his orgasm before he sagged against him, falling to the side of the younger man for a moment and panting heavily.

Jinyoung was on another planet, eyelids drooping and skin tingling. He grumbled slightly when Jaebum rolled from the bed and got to his feet, suddenly fearful the older would leave him as if nothing had happened. However, he watched as the man wobbled on drunk and sex-weak legs into Jinyoung's en suite, fear dissipating. He could only admire the view of Jaebum's toned backside, his muscles flexing as he walked haphazardly, bumping into the door frame as he went and fighting admirably to find the light switch. He returned a few moments later, a wet cloth in his hands. He cleaned Jinyoung off, and honestly the youngers heart swelled at the show of consideration

He'd already steeled himself for Jaebum to just roll off him and leave, so seeing him pull the sheets up as he climbed in beside the younger man, skin to skin on the single bed, pressing himself tightly to his side... it set him on fire. His cheeks flared at the feel of Jaebum's skin against his own completely, a broad chest pressed to his back as the older man nuzzled into his neck, absently kissing at the skin there. His breathing evened out after only a few moments, and Jinyoung assumed he'd fallen asleep. He let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding, relaxing back against the older boy.

It was as if he was having an out-of-body experience. Now, he felt completely numb, the opposite to the wild pounding of his heart he'd felt only minutes ago. Somehow, he just couldn't believe what had just happened to be true, his mind conjuring a thousand ways he could be dreaming or hallucinating. The arm slung over his waist was heavy and real, though, as were the warm breaths against the nape of his neck, the leg tucked between his own.

Fucked out and drowsy with booze, it still took him hours to find anything resembling sleep. He was frozen in place, scared to move a muscle incase it broke the spell he seemed to be under. While it was impossible for him to believe it was real, he still couldn't deny how right it felt. Being in Jaebum's embrace was something he'd longed for, craved for so long. He'd spent all these years thinking it could never happen, that the older boy was straight or homophobic or anything that meant he couldn't return Jinyoung's feelings, and here he was under the sheets with that same man - stark naked, too.

Jinyoung had often wrapped himself in thoughts of being lonely forever, finding it easier than hoping for anything else. He wanted to make his parents happy, give them a pretty wife and happy grandchildren even if it meant he was lying to everyone, including himself. To be gay in Korea meant nothing, at least that's how he felt.

He'd cruised the gay bars in Itaewon underage while he was still a trainee, lost in the sea of guys only looking for a hookup to relieve the pressure before they went home to their wives and girlfriends. Love was a naive thought that he rarely indulged, resigned to never feel the warmth of someone he loved. He was sure he'd fall in love with a woman in the end, but it would always be a friendship, an agreement. Even since he was a kid girls were just friends to him, while guys were the uncharted territory. A woman's touch wouldn't send his heart up in flames the way Jaebum's did.

By the time his eyes grew truly heavy and his thoughts increasingly distant and muffled, his head was already aching. Sleep was avoiding him like the plague. It was when he had become truly frustrated that he felt Jaebum shift, sighing softly before he stilled, tensed like a bow. Jinyoung didn't move, anxious to see what the older boy would do next, and felt his heart drop as the warmth of his body was replaced with the chill of the night.

His ears strained to listen to what Jaebum was doing, where he was going. He felt the sheets shift as he delicately removed himself from the bed as if sneaking away, footsteps gentle on the floor.

Jinyoung was awake when Jaebum left, and sleep didn't find him in any of the hours that followed.

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There'll be a happy ending - promise


	4. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much everybody for subscribing and reading! this definitely won't be the last you see of me in this fandom :) (i can't beta this until tomorrow so sorry if there were any spelling mistakes or missed words)

\- four -

 

Jinyoung crawled out from his bed not long after Jaebum left. His thoughts were too heavy and his heart too sore to find the comfort of sleep. Miserably he stepped in the shower, not even flinching at the cold spray against his naked skin. His head was pounding and a bad taste lingered in his mouth from not brushing his teeth earlier. Usually his hangovers were mere suggestions of a good night out, but without any sleep he felt like the living dead.

By the time the water was hot, he had slumped to the floor, tears burning his cheeks and rough sobs echoing in the small space. He felt sick to his stomach, and clutched at the ache in his chest desperately, hoping for some relief from the pain he was feeling. Jinyoung was no stranger to heartbreak, but it was always something he'd experienced from afar, knowing his affections would never come to pass and sulking at the truth of it - this was different. Jaebum had taken this from him, stolen the naive hope that he'd managed to tuck away somewhere deep inside himself. He felt raw, beaten and bruised.

He got shakily to his feet, face crumpled in emotional agony as he scrubbed himself feverishly, as if he could wash away the feel of Jaebum's fingers against his skin, remove the shame of being so foolish. When he finally came to his senses, body weak from lack of sleep and eyes emptied of tears, he barely recognised the boy in the mirror. His eyes were swollen and puffy, cheeks red and lips a bitten mess. His shoulders still trembled with repressed sobs, and he scrubbed at his face roughly as if he could wash away the feelings swirling inside. Thankfully the only schedule he had today was a radio show, not having to face the older boy until late that evening. Still, having to see him at all felt bad enough.

As he stared at his reflection distantly he wondered if Jaebum remembered anything, if he'd woken up confused and disgusted at the feel of Jinyoung' naked body in his arms. Jaebum must have had some affection towards him, though, to touch him in such a way. The boy had even admitted to thinking of him, to lusting for him. But Jinyoung's mind continued to run in a loop, clinging onto negatives and supplying endless reasons as to why he wasn't good enough, why Jaebum could never want him.

Wrapping a towel loosely around his waist, he stumbled from the bathroom on numb legs, throwing himself onto his bed and curling beneath the covers. His chest felt heavy, every breath taxing, and he reached for his phone to text Mark before his eyes finally began to give up, falling into a troubled sleep with tears still hot on his cheeks.

 

-

 

Mark awoke groggily to the sound of Jackson snoring deeply and mumbling in his sleep, limbs thrown around mark almost as if in attempt to trap him from escaping. If sex with Jackson was exciting sober, it was ... _interesting_  drunk. The younger man seemed to have no reservations when it came to sex as long as Mark was enjoying it, and Mark had been surprised by his own requests and interests in the end. Finding out he had a thing for being spanked was a revelation to the older boy and an apparent joy for Jackson. His ass still ached, for more than one reason.

He shifted in the mess of Jackson's appendages, the light from the blinds still not pale enough for him to consider dragging himself from the warmth of his sheets, especially with the ache pressed against the front of his skull. His hangovers were never too bad - he always took care to chug down the same amount of water as the alcohol he'd drank before he slept - but he still felt like shit. He could only imagine how Youngjae felt; the vocalist was barely on his feet when he'd dragged him to kitchen and plied him with water, ending up getting more on his shirt than in his mouth. He'd have to check on him later and make him some honeyed tea, especially if they were on the radio later tonight. While he wasn't the leader, he still couldn't resist the urge to look after his youngers.

He nuzzled into the pillow, ready to catch the ends of dreams that were already fading from his mind, only to hear the irritating ping of his phone. He threw a hand out, patting the sheets carelessly trying to find it before closing upon the offensive object and unlocking the screen, squinting at the brightness and trying to read with blurry eyes. 

_jinyoungie, 05:10_

if you're awake i could really use a hug right now

Mark groaned, running his fingers through his hair and flinging his phone away. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, feeling them burn, before he relented; carefully untangling himself from Jackson as he climbed off the bed. After grabbing his pyjamas and pulling them only blearily, he rubbed his eyes, yawned, stretched. Stilling for a moment, he admired the sight of Jackson's naked back, eyes lingering on the curve of his ass before it disappeared under the sheets. He could really get used to waking up to that.

He tiptoed to Jinyoung's room, careful not to wake the maknae's as he closed the door gently behind him. Jinyoung's lamp was on, but the boy was nowhere to be found. When he took a look into the en-suite, steam was still lingering and the floor was wet, but there was no sign of Jinyoung. Returning to the boy's bedroom he assessed the pile of sheets on the bed before he crawled under them, finding Jinyoung in the fetal position, phone clutched tightly in his hand. A frown was set deep on his features, and Mark ran a thumb over his forehead, trying to smooth the wrinkles away gently. At his touch the younger boy stirred and Mark was saddened to see the redness of his eyes, the bags beneath them grey against his pale skin.

'Hyung?' His voice was rough as his eyes began to focus on Mark's worried face, and his lips quivered for a moment before he crumpled entirely, tears spilling over. Mark pulled him to his chest immediately, shushing him as he ran his fingers through the younger boys damp hair.

'What happened?' Mark whispered calmly. The younger sobbed brokenly before he sniffed, shifting back as he wiped his cheeks with harsh motions, lips still twisted while he held back his tears. Mark had seen Jinyoung cry far too many times, and his heart ached at the sight. He was already planning on kicking Jaebum's ass, even if the guy was far bigger than him. This was definitely his fault - it usually was if Jinyoung was crying - and Mark felt a twinge of regret for leaving them alone together last night.

'He came onto me,' Jinyoung mumbled through hitched breaths, 'He said all these things about how he he was scared of how he felt about me when we were trainees and we kissed... and we ended up getting each other off. Then he fell asleep in here but he woke up and left without saying anything. I know he regets it. I bet he thought I was disgusting; I bet he felt sick being so close to me when he was sober...' Jinyoung rambled, barely stopping for breath before his tears started to roll again, and Mark wiped them away, hands either side of his face as he forced him to look at him.

'He wouldn't come onto you if he didn't like you, Jinyoung. Maybe he was thinking the same way as you, that  _you_  were drunk and  _you'd_  be disgusted to wake up next to _him_. Either way it was a dick move and I'll kill him for you if you want me to.' He knew Jinyoung wouldn't believe a word of it, but it was worth trying. The boy was so easily consumed by negative thoughts, unable to see the positives in situations that involved him, yet he could see the whole world in other people.

'Maybe I was just an experiment, checking whether he wanted guys or not.'

'You and I both know Jaebum isn't the kind of guy to risk the team just to see if he likes dick.'

'Still-'

' _If's_  and  _but's_  aren't gonna do anything. See how things are when you've had some sleep, you can't work looking like this.' Honestly Mark was just desperate to catch a few more hours of shut-eye, but he was still being sincere. Sleep would do the younger boy some good, he could tell none had come to him so far - the dreams he'd found Jinyoung in when he'd uncovered him from the sheets didn't look peaceful in the slightest.

'I'm sorry for waking you up, hyung.'

'Don't sweat it, I'd rather know you're okay.'

'Did Youngjae get to bed okay? I heard him being sick-'

'Stop thinking about everyone else for a second and be selfish, you worry too much. I'll check on him later.'

Jinyoung smiled softly at that, and Mark was glad he could at least do that much. The younger shifted sleepily, rolling over so his back was to Mark, and the older wrapped his arms around his thin frame, pulling him to his chest.

'Even if this shit doesn't work out, at least you got laid kiddo.'

A soft laugh shook Jinyoung's frame, and Mark was warmed by it. Jinyoung was worth a risk, and if Jaebum couldn't see that, then Jinyoung was better off without him.

-

Jinyoung finally crawled from his bed a few hours after Mark had left to check on the Maknae's. His sheets still held Jaebum's scent, and it made his heart constrict even tighter in his heavy chest. It was some time after 2pm when he finally took his breakfast, but it seemed the whole dorm was in the same sort of state as him, the crowded kitchen giving him a welcome distraction from the misery roiling in his mind. Jaebum was nowhere in sight, and Jinyoung hadn't realised how tense he'd been in anticipation of seeing the older boy.

Yugyeom was bright as a button, as he often was when the rest of his hyung's were suffering with hangovers that never seemed to affect the younger boy. As usual he was teasing his half-dead elders while BamBam was passed out on the sofa with his long, skinny legs hanging off the arm rest. 

Youngjae was a truly impressive shade of green when he wandered into the living space, his usually cheerful demeanor cloudy and glum as he shuffled on heavy feet. Of course, everyone decided to up the volume on their conversations just to annoy him. He groaned dramatically, covering his ears and diving into the kitchen to grab some leftover pizza before disappearing into the bedroom he shared with Jaebum.

JInyoung hopped up onto the kitchen counter, shoveling his cereal into his mouth like a starving man. Mark was doing the same opposite him, and after Yugyeom got bored it was just the two of them. The moment of comfortable was short lived though, and Jinyoung didn't miss the bounce in Jackson's step, the even brighter expression on his already bright face. The older boy winked at Mark with a sultry smirk before he dipped into a cupboard and rummaged around. Jinyoung took a disturbing amount of pleasure from the discomfort in Mark's eyes when he caught his gaze, the scowl he threw when he saw the twinkle in Jinyoung's eyes, knowing he'd be getting a cross-examination later.

Well, Jinyoung thought, at least it worked out for somebody.

Jackson seemed to find what he was looking for, closing the cupboard carelessly with a slam and making Jinyoung jump. He turned to leave the kitchen before pausing, turning back around and walking with intent to where Mark was stood. Jinyoung could only watch in scandalised glee as Jackson pressed the wide-eyed older boy up against the counter, pulling him in for a deep, wet kiss. Jinyoung made a note to remember every disgusting kissing noise they were making just so he could mimic it later and make Mark cry with embarrassment.

Jackson bit Mark's lower lip as he pulled away, grabbing whatever he'd taken out of the cupboard and scuttling out of the room at the speed of light, leaving Mark extremely red and extremely confused. 

'Don't say a word.' Mark grumbled without even glancing at Jinyoung, ears flushing red to the tips.

'You know me, Mark. I like to let embarrassing things age like fine wine so I can pull the vintage out when you thought you'd forgotten about it.'

Mark scoffed, rolling his eyes and raising an eyebrow with intent. 'Have you seen JB?' He asked plainly around a mouthful of cereal, delicate and graceful as ever. He didn't know where the older boy put his food, rake thin as he was. 

'No. I kind of wish the fucker would just appear out of nowhere so I wouldn't feel so anxious standing around waiting for him to walk through the door.' Jinyoung sighed, tension evident in the set of his shoulders and the lines on his forehead. He hated waiting for things he was nervous about; it always seemed to make things worse. He liked to get things over and done with and cry about it later.

'Well, whatever happens, don't let it affect anyone else,' Mark patted his back roughly before pulling him against his shoulder comfortingly for a moment. 'I'm always here to listen, you know that.'

At that exact moment, Jaebum wandered into the kitchen with bleary eyes and the worst bed head you've ever seen, and Jinyoung felt like his world was going to end.

-

Jaebum ignored him all morning. Whenever Jinyoung felt as if someone was staring him, he'd turn to see the older boy quickly look away, talk to someone else, go somewhere else. He'd take an argument over the silent treatment any day, and this behavior was so out of character for the usually confrontational leader. Jaebum never ran away from conflict, either making it clear he didn't deem it important or straight up roughing it out until things were clear. This whole scene of avoiding Jinyoung's gaze and placing himself out of the younger's way was extremely odd. 

Jaebum didn't sit beside him in the car on the way to their schedule, but that wasn't too out of the ordinary. Somehow everything felt like a slight, now. Youngjae was leaning against Jinyoung's shoulder, and Jinyoung rubbed his hand soothingly over the younger's back, pitying the poor thing. Jackson was being loud with Yugyeom and BamBam, and Jinyoung felt himself growing annoyed at the sound of Jaebum's voice ringing out equally playful in the cacophony behind him. Mark was sleeping in the passenger seat beside their manager, and he felt bad for depriving the older of sleep earlier, but he couldn't think of anyone else to talk to. At least he had a companion in Mark.

He heard Jackson scream, 'Youngjae speak English!' towards them, and found himself creasing in laughter at the sound of Youngjae's weak voice, eyes still closed. Completely unable to resist a chance at Younglish even if he was hungover to death.

_'My name is Youngjae~'_

-

The radio show seemed to drag on forever, his head pounding and the members growing more and more distracted while the hours bled into each other. They'd play around between songs for the fans watching, but Jinyoung didn't have the energy, choosing instead to have quiet conversations with Mark and offer his shoulder for Youngjae to nap on.

Eventually it was time for them to answer questions and chat, and it went fine until Jaebum finally piped up, the first words he'd spoken to the younger boy all day. It caught Jinyoung off guard to the point he just stared blankly instead of responding. It wasn't even something worth thinking about, just a random question from a fan, but he fell dumb as if he was being asked about quantum physics.

Jackson jumped in at that moment, saying something that got everybody laughing and took the heat off Jinyoung, but Jaebum fixed him with a stare that told him to be prepared. It was as if the older was warning him not to let his feelings change the team, to be on his guard whatever was happening between them. He knew this look, because they fought so much when they were a duo that they had to have some kind of sign to keep them from ripping each other apart in front of the cameras.

Mark squeezed his thigh under the table, and Jinyoung resolved to give Jaebum as much attention as he was giving Jinyoung - none.

-

Of course, that was easier said than done. Every other thought flew back to the older, wondering how he'd kiss sober, how he'd fuck. He could still feel his fingers dancing along his skin, the way his muscles flexed beneath Jinyoung's touch. Jinyoung wished he'd drank more that night, just so he wouldn't have to remember so many details, so he could just continue in blissful ignorance and go back to mooning over the older boy in silence.

As it stood, however, he found himself in the shower of his en-suite three hours before their schedule (the maknae's always used his bathroom, and he preferred not to be bothered by BamBam's incessant knocking) fisting his cock to thoughts of Jaebum beneath him, fucking up into him as he rode the older boy. He gasped against the tiles, eyebrows knotted and lip caught between his teeth. He didn't hear the door open over the sound of the water, and he jumped when a hand grabbed him, span him round and pushed him hard against the cold tiles. He blinked through the water in his eyes to see Jaebum still fully clothed and getting soaked, a feral look in his eyes. 

His heart was thumping, mortified to be caught masturbating by the subject of his fantasies, to have him looking at him so intensely. He didn't expect it when Jaebum crushed his lips to his own roughly, stealing the breath from the younger man's lungs as his hands took hard fistfuls of his buttocks, squeezing at the tender flesh and making Jinyoung's back arch at the contact. The sensations were so much stronger sober, the beating of his heart almost deafening in his ears. Jaebum was driven, taking complete control and leaving Jinyoung helpless and confused. 

The older relented his possession over Jinyoung's mouth, and the younger sucked in a breath desperately, the air thick with steam. However, he found the air escaping him once again as Jaebum gripped his cock brutally, fisting it so hard Jinyoung's eyed rolled back and a moan ripped from his throat. Mindlessly he reached out to touch Jaebum, to grab onto him somewhere and ground himself to reality, but the older smacked his hand away roughly, pinning his arms above his head. Jinyoung opened his eyes in shock, seeing Jaebum only inches away, staring down at him with dark, almost angry eyes. 

Jaebum was sopping wet now, his pyjama shirt glued to the muscles of his arms and chest, hair dripping. It wasn't long before Jinyoung felt his orgasm approaching, too sudden to even warn the older, an abrupt shout leaving his lips as his head hit the tiles behind him, hips shuddering as Jaebum milked him through the aftershocks.

He stood with weak legs, only Jaebum's iron grip on his arms keeping him upright, harsh breaths leaving his lips as he stared up at the older boy in confusion. 'Why are you doing this?' He breathed, voice rough, but Jaebum's gaze grew cold, lips tightly closed.

He let out a startled noise when Jaebum's hands moved to his shoulders, pushing him roughly to the floor of the shower. Looking up in confusion, he watched with wide eyes as Jaebum pulled his own sweatpants down, his cock springing free before he gripped it firmly in his fist, only inches away from Jinyoung's lips. The younger boy swallowed, nerves on edge. He'd had a million wet dreams about being in this situation, on his knees with Jaebum's cock stretching his lips and making him choke, but actually being in the situation was terrifying. 

The older boy had other ideas, though, grabbing Jinyoung by his hair and pressing him firmly against the shower wall as his other hand moved steadily on his cock, dark eyes looking down at him intently. Jinyoung could only stare up in wonder, lips parted as his gaze flickered between Jaebum and the wet tip of his cock he so desperately wanted to lean forward and taste. The older's pace began to quicken, breaths leaving his lips in huffs, teeth gritted as his wrist twisted and his hips shuddered.

Groaning suddenly, Jaebum's mouth parted obscenely. Jinyoung's eyelids fluttered shut as the older boy's cock jumped, hot come hitting his cheek and lips. He opened his eyes slowly, taking in the sight of Jaebum coming down from his high, fist still slowly pumping the last drops from his length. The sight was enough to make Jinyoung's spent cock twitch, mouth dry. Jaebum's eyes opened, looking down at him dizzily, and Jinyoung didn't hesitate to slowly lick at the cum dripping from the side of his mouth, not breaking eye contact as Jaebum gasped softly. It was bitter, but it was a taste he suddenly craved.

Jinyoung's knees ached, and his neck was stiff from where Jaebum still gripped his hair. He moved his lips to speak but Jaebum let go of him roughly, tucking his cock away before opening the shower door and leaving, clothes dripping wet. Jinyoung could only stare after him, come drying on his face and a feeling of being used weighing hard in the pit of his stomach.

-

Jaebum didn't avoid his gaze anymore, instead meeting Jinyoung's eyes every time the younger happened to glance his way with an intensity that made his cock stir every time. Weeks had passed since the shower incident, the members all busy with their comeback, practicing late into the night with no energy to even speak to each other most of the time. Jinyoung's dreams were almost always filled with thoughts of the older, waking up nearly every morning with a stiffness between his legs he didn't have the energy to attend to. If he was more awake and alert in the mornings, it was because his morning showers had become extremely cold ones.

It was the end of a particularly grueling day, having had a reading for his drama and a photoshoot, when Mark joined him under the covers, Coco cosy between them as they discussed the object of Jinyoung's frustrations. Mark listened to him recounting the heated moment the two had shared, hooting every now and then in an attempt to embarrass the younger. Jinyoung wasn't so easily cowed, going over every detail and making the older regret ever teasing him.

'He wants you.'

'Shut up.' Jinyoung sighed, not in the mood to be taunted, but Mark fixed him with his 'i'm serious' look.

'You two just need to talk and clear this shit up, you're missing out on some seriously kinky sex if your two times together have been that intense. Your lack of dialogue is really amazing for how long you've known each other.'

'I wouldn't say we know each other. Jaebum see's me as a colleague.'

'A colleague he wants to bone.'

'You're so crass.'

'You can be much, much worse you hypocrite. If Jackson knew how much shit you've made me spill about us he'd die.'

'Either way, Jaebum just... he's not straight forward.'

'He's not straight, that's for sure.' Mark yawned, playing with Coco's ears absently. 'Not even bicurious.'

'But he's not  _gay_. He's just feeling out whether he likes being with guys or not, like it's new and weird and he'll drop me when he's bored.'

'Ah, because being bisexual means you're just confused?' Mark raised an eyebrow, challenging Jinyoung, and he immediately regretted his words.

'I didn't mean that.'

'Jaebum may well be experimenting, but that's nothing to do with sexuality rather than him as a person; don't lump us all in with his hot 'n' cold bullshit.'

'Save me Mark.' Jinyoung whimpered pitifully, pulling a face that had Mark rolling his eyes and laughing softly.

'If you don't talk to JB, I'll do it for you. And that's a threat.'

Jinyoung always found himself regretting not taking Mark's threats seriously.

-

A month passed in much the same manner, hot gazes passing between the two of them and nothing more; the only words they shared were in regards to dance steps and schedules. They'd just had their first win on the show, and they were celebrating by getting some much needed sleep. Jinyoung didn't know what time it was, but he knew it was too early to be awake, his room still pitch black and the dorm completely silent.

He felt like someone was watching him, the hairs on his neck standing on edge, and he turned abruptly, seeing a shadow in his doorway. Jinyoung's heart jumped into his throat, and he sat up in his bed, reaching for anything blunt and heavy. His immediate thoughts were that a saesang fan had somehow got in, that the dorm was so quiet because everyone was dead and they'd come to claim their last victim in the name of love. His hand met his lamp, and he gripped it tightly, flicking on the light and squinting as the room was illuminated, Jaebum's figure brought to light. 

Somehow, Jinyoung was even more frightened by this revelation.

'Hyung?' He whispered, voice rough with sleep. 'You scared the life out of me, I thought I was going to die.' Jinyoung clutched at his chest, willing his heart rate to slow, and Jaebum stepped closer, slowly sitting at the bottom of his bed. His expression was unreadable, but he was evidently tired. His shoulders were sagging, his eyes barely open. 'What's wrong?' Jinyoung suddenly felt worry rise, 'Has something happened?'

'No, relax, I just came to talk.' Jaebum rumbled, voice thick. It sounded like he'd just woken up too, and Jinyoung was filled with anticipation at whatever was so important that he'd come here in the middle of the night to discuss it. The older shifted, getting more comfortable, and Jinyoung rubbed his eyes. Jaebum was wearing his glasses, and Jinyoung had always thought him more handsome when he wore them. 'Mark told me.'

Jinyoung's heart skipped a beat, skin going cold and his eyes wide. 'Told you what?' He whispered, almost scared to ask. 

'How much you've endured because of me.' He looked at Jinyoung softly, shaking his head with regret. 'I had no idea.' Jinyoung could only listen, mouth ajar and bewilderment on his face. 'I remember everything from when we were drinking. I had no idea you were gay... you're always so thoughtful of your family and I've heard you talk about having a family and making them happy - I thought it was you who would be disgusted waking up beside me.'

He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, leaning his elbows on his knees. 'I couldn't stop thinking about you afterwards, I didn't mean to be so rough with you in the shower. I just had to have you... I thought if it was cold and detached like that you wouldn't be uncomfortable with it or see it as something more.'

Jinyoung was listening with rapt attention, his whole body feeling light and distant. It was the first time he'd seen the older boy looking so vulnerable and frightened, his form entirely hunched over and eyes averted. He fidgeted for a moment, getting comfortable beneath the covers and leaving enough room beside him on the small bed for a larger body.

'Come and sleep, you idiot.' He mumbled, his face hidden by the duvet. He didn't want to see Jaebum's reaction, still so frightened that he'd simply up and leave again; however, Jaebum didn't betray him this time. It felt like deja vu, being pressed close to the older boy once again, though now they were face to face and fully clothed. Jinyoung was weary of fighting, his anxiety falling away to resignation, ready to let whatever would happen just  _happen._

Entwining his legs with the older boy's, he pushed his cheek into his pillow, smirking devilishly as Jaebum yelled when the younger mans icy cold feet pressed against the warm skin of his calves. 

'Are you a fucking vampire?' He laughed incredulously, the tension seeming to fall away with just that touch. Jaebum took Jinyoung's equally freezing hands and clasped them to his chest between them, and the younger man could swear it was his heart he was warming rather than his flesh. Jaebum was so close, nearly nose to nose on the single pillow, and the younger man felt as if a firework display was going off inside him.

'I have bad circulation.' 

Jaebum made a thoughtful noise at the back of his throat, and it brought Jinyoung back to a similar noise he'd made when he was wet and hard and dangerous. 'I bet I could get your blood flowing if I tried.' The older boy's tone had dropped, the sound of it heady and intoxicating, and Jinyoung found himself leaning loser without meaning to. Jaebum's breath was ghosting over his lips, the older boy's eyes dropping to look at them longingly.

Jinyoung knew he wouldn't be able to turn back from this point on, and the words slipped from his lips like a promise.

_'I want you to try.'_

Jaebum didn't hesitate, closing the distance hungrily, but Jinyoung was surprised at the gentle way his lips caressed his own, how the older boy's hands moved to hold his hip with a tenderness he hadn't expected. Jaebum was all harsh angles and strong lines but in that moment Jinyoung felt as if he was drowning in his softness, drawn in by the push and pull of his lips like being dragged under by a wave.

Time seemed to slow down, and they took advantage of every extended second, the kiss seeming to last forever. Jaebum wasn't trying to take control or be controlled, the two of them giving as they got and savouring the taste and warmth of each other's mouths. At some point their tongues escaped, twisting and tangling and dissolving the lip lock into a wet, hot mess, hands roaming more purposefully.

Strong hands slipped beneath the waistband of his shorts, kneading at the soft flesh of his buttocks and he groaned, rolling his hips up against the older boy and indulging in the hardness he came up against nestled between Jaebum's legs. Everything felt different without the blur of alcohol, sensations more thrilling and Jaebum's touch far more intoxicating. 

It was slow and delicious, cocks dragging against each other through the fabric of their pyjamas, hot kisses pressed to throats and hands wandering beneath their shirts. While Jinyoung could have continued simply petting forever, he knew he wanted Jaebum hot and had inside him tonight; he wanted to be stretched wide by fingers that weren't his own, feel the burn of it. He wanted Jaebum to hold him open and lose himself in the feel of Jinyoung tight around him, to watch how his face might change, to have those striking eyes devouring him.

Taking a breath, he broke the heated kiss and took Jaebum's hand from where it was burning against his hip. As he brought it to his mouth he watched Jaebum's eyes darken at the sight of him sucking his index finger deep into his mouth, pulling off with an obscene  _pop_.

'Fuck.' Jaebum breathed, and Jinyoung smirked devilishly.

'That's the idea.'

Tugging on his shorts he kicked them off haphazardly, eliciting a chuckle from the older boy. Even though his shorts had been loose and spacious it was still a relief to have his cock free, curving against his abdomen rigidly, and he swung a bare thigh over Jaebum's hip, rolling against him again and feeling the roughness of his clothes against the sensitive flesh.

Jaebum was in a world of his own, mouth ajar as his eyes raked over what he could see of Jinyoung's body, his torso still obscured by his shirt. The duvet was long gone, and Jinyoung would've felt a chill if not for the furnace seeming to burn inside him. His chest stomach rippled reflexively as Jaebum trailed his hand beneath his shirt, rucking up the fabric to expose his pale skin. His fingers danced over every rib, tracing a nipple and eliciting a short gasp from Jinyoung's lips. The older boy quickly became frustrated with the item of clothing though, the two of them fighting to remove it before Jinyoung removed Jaebum's too, devouring the sight of his toned muscles laid bare for the touching.

Being pressed to Jaebum's naked chest was just as good as the first time, coming together kiss deeply again while Jinyoung slowly pulled the older boy's hand over his hip, sliding it over an ass cheek before his own hand left to slide up Jaebum's arm and squeeze at his bicep. Jaebum seemed to get the hint, index finger dipping into his ass crack and tracing Jinyoung's hole slowly, tantalisingly. The younger boy couldn't help but arch back into the contact, silently begging him to slip it inside and stretch him wide and wet; however Jaebum paused in his caress, and Jinyoung broke the kiss with a question on his lips. The older beat him to it, though.

'Lube?' His voice was thick with lust, and Jinyoung ached to feel his touch once again, nodding impatiently to his bedside drawer. The short moment that Jaebum rolled away from him to scramble around for the small bottle was a moment too long, in his opinion, and he quickly latched onto the older boy again, greedy for his solid body against his own. Jaebum didn't hesitate to slick his fingers generously, digits returning to circle Jinyoung's entrance again and the younger jumped at the coldness, a quick apology leaving Jaebum's lips before he felt a pressure start to build.

He hissed through his teeth as Jaebum slowly pressed one finger into him - too slowly. He ground back against it, mouth ajar and eyes half-lidded with arousal just from the one digit. Jaebum was watching him with rapt attention as if it was his cock fucking into Jinyoung rather than his fingers, and Jinyoung bit back a moan at the stretch of the second joining the first, a pleasurable burn settling in. Even when he fingered himself he always enjoyed the pain of it, masochistic as it was. He always pushed himself to the edge of too much, never enough to truly hurt but enough that he could  _feel_  it.

'Another.' He breathed wantonly, gripping Jaebum's bicep tightly. He saw the older boy's hesitation at his hurried pace.

'It'll hurt, though-'

' _Please_ , Jaebum.' He was too aroused to be shocked at his neediness, thoughts focused only on being as full of the older boy as possible. As the third digit stretched him wide, he grit his teeth against the pain, relieved when Jaebum crushed his lips with his own to distract from the burn. He could feel Jaebum's fingers scissoring him open, twisting inside him as he rolled his hips down to meet them, fucking himself on them. The idea of Jaebum's cock replacing the digits was heady, and he was drunk off it, desperate to be full and thoroughly wrecked.

His cock was achingly hard and leaking between them, a shiver running through Jinyoung every time it dragged against Jaebum's abdomen. Jaebum withdrew his fingers slowly, and Jinyoung gasped against his lips at the sudden emptiness, his hole clenching compulsively at the loss. The older boy sat up, pushing him onto his back as he shuffled to his knees before him. Jinyoung watched with hungry eyes as the fabric of Jaebum's sweatpants dropped, the older boy kicking them off his legs in a rush as his cock stood hard and proud. Jinyoug's thighs might have spread a tiny bit wider at the sight, cock twitching in anticipation. 

He pulled his knees up to his chest, opening himself up for Jaebum, but the older had other ideas, pushing him back onto his side before laying behind him, hitching one of his legs up over his forearm. He nuzzled into Jinyoung's neck, chest flush against his back and cock pressed firmly to Jinyoung's ass, the heat of it setting the younger man ablaze with want. He felt the older boy nibble at his throat, before breathing hotly, 'Spread your ass, baby.'

Jinyoung could've cried he was so aroused, quickly pulling his flesh apart and feeling a thrill run through him when Jaebum's blunt head slid wetly against his twitching hole. Jaebum's lips were manic, sucking at the juncture of his neck, at his shoulders as he slowly slid inside. The sensation was overwhelming, every nerve in Jinyoung's body reacting to the intrusion; but rather than faltering, his cock grew impossibly harder, straining against his abdomen and leaking thickly. He could feel every curve, vein, ridge of Jaebum's length, the heat of it making him dizzy.

Jaebum was slow and careful, teeth digging into Jinyoung's flesh as he held himself back. By the time he was fully sheathed Jinyoung was on his way to going bad, and he rolled his hips back deeply, drawing a lengthy groan from the older boy before his careful restraint snapped, hips jumping deliciously. Jinyoung panted hotly against the pillow as Jaebum began to pound into him, the sound of skin against skin deafening in the silence. Jaebum turned Jinyoung's head slightly to kiss him, tongues twisting as they moaned against each others lips, concentration completely shot.

A loud slap resounded in the quiet of the room, and Jinyoung whined at the sting of Jaebum's palm on his backside, biting his lip roughly to keep his voice down. 'You like that, Jinyoungie?' Jaebum purred, and Jinyoung could only nod, moans threatening to burst from his throat with every rough snap of Jaebum's hips. The older boy's hand slipped down between Jinyoung's legs, fisting his neglected cock and making his whole body sing. 'I can't hear you.' 

Jaebum's pace was brutal, fucking into Jinyoung with such force that he was gradually shifting along the bed with every thrust. ' _Yes_.' He breathed, and Jaebum's hand left his cock, making him whine at the loss. His whine turned to a whimper as a hand landed against his ass cheek again, stinging and delicious.

'Yes what?' Jaebum growled against his ear, and Jinyoung drank in the sound.

'Jaebum-' Another spank, and Jinyoung cried out in earnest this time, unable to restrain his voice. ' _Hyung_.'

'Good boy.' Jaebum thrust into him roughly one last time before he pulled out completely, leaving Jinyoung's head spinning. In seconds he was being pulled up onto all fours, knees trembling while Jaebum positioned himself again, sucking in a breath when the head pressed inside once more.

The angle was different, his hips tilted in Jaebum's lap while the older boy pushed down on Jinyoung's back, forcing his head into the mattress. When he snapped his hips forward, Jinyoung had to bite the pillow, fingers clutching at the sheets and eyes rolling at the white-hot pleasure shooting up his spine. Jaebum must have felt him tighten around him, because a deep groan left his lips, pace quickening as he kept Jinyoung steady. After a minute of Jaebum's assault Jinyoung couldn't hold himself in check anymore, breaths dampening the pillow as his moans leaked out with increasing volume. Jaebum's grunts and breaths were rough and ragged, and Jinyoung melted when a hand wrapped around his dripping cock, already dangerously close to climax.

Jaebum pressed his chest against Jinyoung's back, driving his cock even deeper, sweat slick between them as he mouthed at Jinyoung's neck, whispering filth against his ear. Within moments Jinyoung's knees were buckling, orgasm tearing him apart as he fucked himself back against Jaebum's cock and forwards into his fist, milking his own climax. Before he could even recover Jaebum was losing his pace, fucking into him erratically until a warmth filled him and Jaebum's grip on cock became unbearable. He thrust weakly a few more times before he twisted Jinyoung round to kiss him filthily, the two of them collapsing against the dirty sheets. 

He could feel Jaebum's come between his thighs, his own come against his chest, but still protested when Jaebum weakly moved to grab a towel, pulling him back down to his side. 'Stay, sleep.' He mumbled groggily, blissed out and thoroughly fucked. Jaebum huffed a laugh, abandoning his escapade in favour of wiping them off with the bed sheets and throwing it in a ball to the floor. 

Jinyoung hummed contentedly as the older boy pulled him into his arms, limbs tangling as they sank into the afterglow. He'd never pinned Jaebum for a snuggler.

'You're not going to run off on me again are you?' Jinyoung whispered, and felt honest relief flood him when Jaebum only clutched him tighter, voice sure.

'Never again.'

 

 

 


End file.
